Intentional Communication: Gentle is Effective and Strong

I've observed, there are many people who stress themselves out just by the way they express their thoughts and feelings.

There are many ways in expressing our minds and hearts. But many tend to forget, or maybe essentially don't understand, that there are proper and effective ways in expressing them.

»You don't have to blabber a lot to be understood--you will just feel tired and seem toxic.

»You don't have to raise your voice--you will not be heard, you will not be pleasing to the ears.

»You don't have to exaggerate, appeal to emotion, or engage argumentum ad hominem--you will just be not credible, and next time they won't believe you anymore.

»You don't have to discredit or belittle the other person just to be right or to make point [that you know better]--no one would want to talk and listen to you. Yes, they seem listening, but they're not.

To communicate your feelings and thoughts effectively and for people to want to be around you and to listen and talk to you... remember:

~be calm

~empathize or be considerate

~tell the truth even when it hurts and be direct, in a diplomatic or humane manner

~know when and where to talk and when to stop talking

~don't raise your voice; instead, improve your arguments

~a soft voice is far more effective than a loud voice

~don't let your emotions get the best of you

~most importantly, think before you talk

Let us strive to be good communicators of our thoughts and feelings, and more considerate of the people around us. This way, we help in our own little way foster a positive environment for others, especially the little ones who look up to us and imbibe what they see that we do.

Letsl us teach the kids that:

°Shouting, quick to anger, talking a lot and unnecessarily, putting others down, doesn't want feedback, or always wanting to be center of attention--not strong.

°Gentleness, controlling emotions and temper, knowing when to stop talking or be silent, lifting or pulling others up, wants feedback and constructive criticisms, and working silently--strong.

Happiness is Relative

Different generations, different definitions of happiness. Different people, different sources of happiness.

Many people equate happiness with success when in fact they are two different things and are both relative to each individual.

There are those who associate happiness and success with job title, status in the society, and salary. There are others who break free from the stereotype and find happiness in their discovered purpose or simply in what move their souls. Some measure their success based on how well they perform their chosen roles in life.

Happines--like life and love--is what you make it. 

It is you who discover or decide what makes you happy and feel alive. As you live your life, you will discover what pumps you up, moves you, gives meaning to your life, inspires you, makes you look forward each coming day.

Interestingly, as the saying puts it: different strokes for different folks. Simply put, happiness does not have an exclusive, hard-and-fast meaning or way of finding and achieving it.

What is even more interesting is that finding and sustaining happiness is an endless pursuit.

Usually, happiness changes or evolves with time, circumstances, place you're in, or people you're with. Your happiness may also be fixed already, and you just have to sustain it.

In discovering your own happiness, do not let other people define it for you. Find your own happiness or decide what, where, how, and even why your HAPPINESS is. If you have same sources of happiness with others, great. If not, it's totally fine.

Some of the keys to finding your own happiness are:

1. Discover your talents and interests;
2. Know which area/field you excel at;
3. Find out what relaxes you and gives you peace as you continue to grow as an individual;
4. Know your goals and priorities in life;
5. Enjoy what you're doing without thinking of competition;
6. Have time-off to enjoy yourself and recover;

7. Find out what your purpose or vocation is;
8. Consider your loved ones as you embark in your pursuit of happiness... but never let them be the only factor in deciding what makes you feel alive, grow, and do things;

In short, know yourself in a more intimate and meaningful level. More importantly, maintain balance in all aspects of your life. 

No matter what pace, level of ease, place, etc you discover that make you feel alive or that work best for you, press on them.

In this day and age, more often than not, "meaningfulness" and "purpose" give us long-term and genuine happiness, and "gratitude" sustains the [source of] happiness that we discover.

Empowerment and inclusivity have become the "in" thing, and competition and individuality have become passé.

What works best for you in attaining your happiness may not work for others, and that's totally okay.

There is no fixed standard, no time or age limit, no certain place, no season in finding happiness. It is you who discover, feel, and work on your own happiness. Others don't find, serve, and sustain it for you.

Happiness is discovered by going out there, knowing yourself better, and living your best life. But remember, sustaining happiness is an inside job.

So go define and find your own happiness, and share it with the people around you.

If you have already found yours, I'm glad you did. If not yet I hope you find your happiness in what you do, in places you visit, in people you are with, and in every single day you get to live.

When one is happy, she/he shines.
Go spread your light.

Out With the Old; In With the New

Change comes with time.

Or maybe, time requires change.

Among the things that change over time is how the human race perceive, define, approach, and live life.

Few decades ago, the approach was individualistic. Competition was normal. Being famous and powerful was applauded. Owning mundane things was ideal. Grandstanding was a way of life. Money was the goal because it was thought to have made the world go round. I say so because I observe many older people are like these--a combination of these. They have these distinct characteristics.

At present, people magnify the importance of good health, being kind to oneself and others, inclusive growth, inner peace, living harmoniously with others, freedom over money. Now, money is just a tool, and freedom is the goal--time and financial.

The paradigm shift resulted in the revolutionary mindset and approaches of the new generation, among them are as follows:

-Inner peace is the new success.
-Gratitude is the new asset.
-Energy is the new charm.
-Humility is the new strength.
-Grit is the new strategy.
-Connection is the new attraction.
-Faithfulness is the new sweetness.
-Healthy is the new lifestyle.
-Calm is the new mindset.
-Happiness is the new rich.
-Spirituality is the new wellness.
-Self-mastery and self-respect are the new power.

May this new set of perspectives and ways of doing things work in your favor as you live through this new era--without completely leaving the old ones behind, such as the dignity in hard work and the importance of self-sufficiency and resourcefulness.

Reminder to Self

It's been a while since the last time I wrote an article here, and I'm feeling the itch to write again🙂

I'll start off with my reminder to myself on my birthday in 2019.

I hope this list would remind you some good things too.

To self...

1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

2. Take good care of yourself and the person next to you.

3. You are who you respond to.

4. Value good health--physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual.

5. Mind your own business.

6. Always choose to be kind; decide to be positive.

7. Learn and forgive.

8. By empowering and enabling others, you empower and enable yourself.

9. Meet people. Every person is different and has different life lessons to teach you.

10. Your personality is your business card.

11. Understand that life is a complex series of joys, difficulties, and triumphs, because when you do, then the fact that life is complex and difficult no longer matters.

12. It's okay to commit honest mistakes sometimes. Just learn and grow.

13. Be kind to yourself. Be responsibly free and happy.

14. Continue the process of learning, unlearning, and relearning.

15. Just love.

16. Appreciate in public, reprimand in private.

17. A soft voice is more powerful than a loud, angry voice.

18. Don't hate, be indifferent.

19. Value peace of mind and good sleep at night. A clean conscience is your best pillow.

20. Prioritize and prepare.

21. Respect other people's time.

22. Be vocal in a respectful and dignified way.

23. If you want to change the world, improve yourself.

24. Learn when to stand your ground and when to yield.

25. Sometimes it's better to be silent. Discern when.

26. Help and never count what or how much you give.

27. Help others help themselves.

28. Constantly nurture your body, mind, and spirit.

29. Enjoy hobbies. Spend an hour a day for things you do not know or are not expert on/at.

30. See friends and connect with them in person. Create good times you can laugh at in the future.

31. Travel, see the world, be spontaneous, and learn.

32. It's okay to fail, be wrong, break conventions.

33. Help an elderly, encourage a child, support your peers, and challenge yourself.

34. Listen more, speak less. When you speak, speak love and spark hope.

35. Don't be afraid to challenge some rules.

36. Express appreciation and gratitude.

37. Sincerity, honesty, and respect nurture healthy relationships.

38. The brave apologizes.

39. Humility is key to many hearts and doors.

40. Be comfortable about/with yourself.

41. Laugh at yourself.

42. Keep going, even if the road is rocky, winding, or steep.

43. Recognize that you cannot do it alone.

44. Solicit feedback and open-mindedly and positively deal with criticisms, constructive or not.

45. Always have a me-time once a week.

46. Let your friends be themselves and be happy for their successes.

47. Protect the environment and respect animals

48. Fame, money, and power are never the goals; but a dignified, productive, and chill life is.

49. Do not dignify a wrong conduct by replying or reacting.

50. In everything you do, always wear the white hat.

51. To change the world is to improve yourself.

52. Hang loose yet have class.

53. Make at least one person blessed each day because of you.

54. Grow up but not old.

55. Always make time for family.

56. Do good and make mother proud.

57. Wherever you are, always communicate with God.

58. God's faithful servant and warrior, not a worrier.

Morning Hush

Going through the day with peace of mind does not mean complete control of things and smooth day; but living through the day with calmness despite uncontrollable situation, with joy from within, and by respecting the events, people, and things around you.

The sun is rising. The alarm clock is ringing. The sound of the city is gradually fading in.

Take time to be SILENT. LISTEN to your body, to the small voice in your head.

When morning comes, we tend to rush on everything. Immediately after opening our eyes, we jump off our bed and zoom our way to the bathroom. We miss to enjoy the beauty of the new day—the comfort of the soft and fluffy bed, the aromatic smell of the coffee, the natural disinfectant of the sunlight, and the fresh thoughts. We want everything in instant.

We rush thinking we could avoid the things we cannot control that could ruin our entire day. There's the traffic, car malfunction, or the silent demanding boss who expects us to be earlier than her 6:30 am lonely time.

It's good and right to start the day early. It gives us ample time to prepare for the day. Remember: failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

However, waking up earlier than the rooster and moving like Flash is not enough.

Wake up rushing results in starting out feeling stressed out early in the day, with a fazed mind and your heart beating fast, that puts you on auto-panic mode. When we rush, we tend to forget something or to push the wrong button or to pour our coffee on the office desk. We commit small errors that have some negative impacts on our mood and productivity level.

Our state of mind when we start our day is important. It is the key to setting the landscape of our day.

Waking up with a serene state of mind, composed mind, and clear vision of the day help us get through the bumps and hurdles of the day gracefully and productively.

Slash the morning rush and start with a morning hush.

Wake up 15 minutes earlier than necessary. Stay lying on your bed, meditate or pray or just simply put things in perspective til the 15 minutes run out.

Smile. Sit on your bed for 5 seconds, still holding your smile. Play feel-good music, then start doing your thing. Whether it is having coffee or breakfast first or taking a bath first, make sure you spend the time pumping happy hormones.

While sitting at the dining table, talk to your loving partner or crack joke with your housemates or share a good story with your kids.

In the bathroom, make mental notes of your today's plans or small goals, or revisit your best feeling yesterday, or shake off all the negative emotions of yesterday and , then start with a clean slate, or just simply think of your dream house.

The quality of your first 15 minutes in the morning is essential in creating the vibe of your day. Then follow it through by living out a positive and driven disposition.

• Wake up early.
• Meditate and set your good mood.
• Have a good breakfast.
• Arrive at work ahead of time.
• Clean your work area and prepare by gathering your thoughts.
• Greet your colleagues good morning or give small positive notes.
• Check your to-do’s and emails.
• Take a deep breath and smile.

Give yourself time to settle after waking up. Listening to the small voice within you or connecting with your Supreme Being early in the morning puts things in perspective. Calibrate your senses by feeling, smelling, hearing, seeing, and tasting the beauty of the new day.

When you go through the day deliberately, you become aware and alert—you see the minute details of the day.

Going through the day with peace of mind does not mean complete control of things and smooth day; but living through the day with calmness despite uncontrollable situation, with joy from within, and by respecting the events, people, and things around you.

Relax. Start early with a me-time contemplating or meditating or praying.

Relieve yourself of self-made anxiety.
You have a choice—to be happy or to be unhappy: to rush or to slow down.

Time gives us the advantage of having "options".
Don't just start early.
Start early with a grateful heart, clear mind, and peaceful state of mind.

Helter-skelter courts disaster; while man of meditation attracts fruition.

Make your 15-minute morning hush a habit and your day will be better than your day with morning rush.