Happiness is Relative

Different generations, different definitions of happiness. Different people, different sources of happiness.

Many people equate happiness with success when in fact they are two different things and are both relative to each individual.

There are those who associate happiness and success with job title, status in the society, and salary. There are others who break free from the stereotype and find happiness in their discovered purpose or simply in what move their souls. Some measure their success based on how well they perform their chosen roles in life.

Happines--like life and love--is what you make it. 

It is you who discover or decide what makes you happy and feel alive. As you live your life, you will discover what pumps you up, moves you, gives meaning to your life, inspires you, makes you look forward each coming day.

Interestingly, as the saying puts it: different strokes for different folks. Simply put, happiness does not have an exclusive, hard-and-fast meaning or way of finding and achieving it.

What is even more interesting is that finding and sustaining happiness is an endless pursuit.

Usually, happiness changes or evolves with time, circumstances, place you're in, or people you're with. Your happiness may also be fixed already, and you just have to sustain it.

In discovering your own happiness, do not let other people define it for you. Find your own happiness or decide what, where, how, and even why your HAPPINESS is. If you have same sources of happiness with others, great. If not, it's totally fine.

Some of the keys to finding your own happiness are:

1. Discover your talents and interests;
2. Know which area/field you excel at;
3. Find out what relaxes you and gives you peace as you continue to grow as an individual;
4. Know your goals and priorities in life;
5. Enjoy what you're doing without thinking of competition;
6. Have time-off to enjoy yourself and recover;

7. Find out what your purpose or vocation is;
8. Consider your loved ones as you embark in your pursuit of happiness... but never let them be the only factor in deciding what makes you feel alive, grow, and do things;

In short, know yourself in a more intimate and meaningful level. More importantly, maintain balance in all aspects of your life. 

No matter what pace, level of ease, place, etc you discover that make you feel alive or that work best for you, press on them.

In this day and age, more often than not, "meaningfulness" and "purpose" give us long-term and genuine happiness, and "gratitude" sustains the [source of] happiness that we discover.

Empowerment and inclusivity have become the "in" thing, and competition and individuality have become passé.

What works best for you in attaining your happiness may not work for others, and that's totally okay.

There is no fixed standard, no time or age limit, no certain place, no season in finding happiness. It is you who discover, feel, and work on your own happiness. Others don't find, serve, and sustain it for you.

Happiness is discovered by going out there, knowing yourself better, and living your best life. But remember, sustaining happiness is an inside job.

So go define and find your own happiness, and share it with the people around you.

If you have already found yours, I'm glad you did. If not yet I hope you find your happiness in what you do, in places you visit, in people you are with, and in every single day you get to live.

When one is happy, she/he shines.
Go spread your light.

Flash Fiction: Rollin’

Oh so then, I didn't' know I had a choice. Only had I listened and responded to what my heart desired, I could have enjoyed better my ride. 

Various sceneries pass through me. Some beautiful, others weird. Some open field, others walls of trees.

They run so quick past through me. I wanna enjoy their beauty, I wanna feel their queerness.

They don't stop, they don't even pause. I wanna hold them and stay and admire their beauty. I wanna observe them and stay and understand their oddness.

Roll, go roll! Things go so fast past through me. They roll without pausing.

Few moments more, I see no more ahead. Then, I realized, it's me who rolls so swiftly.

Oh so then, I didn't' know I had a choice. Only had I listened and responded to what my heart desired, I could have enjoyed better my ride.

Now I'm at the dead-end  my journey so quick. I didn't get hold of any—I just saw them but I missed savoring their beauty.

The last drop of gasoline couldn't take me back, no matter how much I want to. The hefty bucks I own couldn't do any good to bring me back. Now I'm stuck at the end.

Now where did the quick roll take me? Only if I listened to the desires of my heart. Only if I paused, get off, and touched life’s beauty.

Only if... I knew I always had a choice.

Pause. Breathe. Appreciate life’s beauty. Enjoy. Hang loose. Explore responsibly. Be grateful.

Rollin' without regrettin'.

Onward and Upward!

Decide to improve. You are in charge of your life. Your life will only change inasmuch as you let it.

So much beauty in the world! So much things to be thankful for. So much things to enjoy.

Yet, not everybody sees them. Not all seize the good life. Let’s not cheat ourselves of the happiness we deserve!

Unlock the source of joy and blessings by being grateful.

Life is a series of choices. Some personally choose to be free and happy; others opt that other people and events dictate the kind of life they live.

Decide to improve. You are in charge of your life. Your life will only change inasmuch as you let it.

Choose to be happy; it takes a lot of energy to hold anger. Accept your situation at the moment and do something about it.

Living a passive life is a fate worse than dying the hard way. Don’t just sit down, keep silent, and refuse to risk. Own up the responsibility of making your life better and happier. Live, don’t just exist. Be grateful for the new day to live by!

When negativity peeps through, don’t mind it. Be indifferent. It will go away sooner than you think when you don’t give it attention. Plant seeds of positivity! Smile.

If people seem cruel… let them be. What matters is how you treat others and yourself. Getting even will only hurt you. Making others suffer will not make your pain go away. Fight evil with good! Understand and be compassionate.

Yes, good things are easier said than done. Nobody said worthwhile things are easy. But always remember, where there is hardship, there your growth is. So when your character is tested, keep on keeping on!

Building a good character is like building a house on a solid rock. When trials, pains, or calamities come, one will not be overwhelmed and falter; instead, one may maturely soar over these storm of difficulties and remain grateful for yet another blessing in disguise.

Take occasional breaks. Pause and breathe. Appreciate your journey… Your trials and triumphs, downs and ups are what give life texture and color. Take some time to re-introduce yourself to yourself.

Regularly check your parameters and boundaries so you know your pace and limit. Both freedom and improvement require setting limits.

It is also important that you ask life for the great desires of your heart… Ask for your dreams. Feel them. Believe you will receive them. Go get them!

Dreams don’t die. Sometimes we've just grown out of them. Then, we just need to make new ones, better ones. If we are faced with roadblocks along the way, just remember that trials are just like fire in the fiery furnace that polishes our ability and intentions so we may know clearly the good desires of our hearts.

Appreciate each day—the new days itself is a wonderful opportunity to become better.

Thank each trial—trivial things stretch you and teach you valuable lessons; they make you wiser.

Acknowledge each pain—uncomfortable feelings and situations allow you to explore your other emotions; they make you know yourself better.

Value each difficulty—hard people, things, or circumstances to deal with polish you and enable you to establish self-concept and appreciate self-worth.

Unlock your gifts, joy, and fountain of blessings by being grateful, hopeful, and by constantly utilizing the things you’ve just unlocked.

Life is a series of choices and decisions and a combination of moments—little ones that add up to big ones, and create who you are. You're not letting others make those choices for you and to dictate who you are, right?

Live. Enjoy. Improve. Keep moving onward, upward!

Keep on smiling and the world will smile with you. :-)

Kenosis: Self-emptying for New Year, New Way, and New Life

New Year has become the pop time to change consciousness and ways. We refresh our lives to start anew.

We are in a “kenosis” state or “self-emptying” to make space for new habits and new blessings. We make new resolutions that we want to live by for the new year in order to achieve our new goals (or renewed goals, so to speak).

Dreams. Wishes. Resolutions. Goals. Prayers.

Everybody has new set of things to be achieved in order to enjoy a better and happier life, or simply to put life into perspective. Some focus on the aspect of career, others on love, family, studies, finance, or health.

Whatever or wherever we want to improve any time of the year, we must call on Him through whom and for whom everything is made.

Start the day with prayer and go all out with your best, and surely He will do the rest for us. Prayer reinforces our desires; excellence is what success is chasing after.

For every day of the year… Wake up gratefully. Pray faithfully. Work passionately. Decide justly. Think uprightly. Speak honestly. Respond humbly. Share generously. Go to bed joyfully—ending the day with thanksgiving and hope in heart that surely tomorrow God has more surprises and outpouring in our lives.

New year celebration is good; it brings hope and opportunity for new life.

Nevertheless, let us not discredit the fact that every day brings new hope. The good news is, we can transform our lives any day of the year! All we need is persistent prayer for discernment and determination and courage to follow the path to new life.



PS: We can enjoy and appreciate life more when we share its fruits with others. We will receive more when we empty ourselves so God can fill our lives up with more blessings, healing, and miracles. We will never lack in anything if we remain in Him and let His words remain in us and guide us (John 15:7 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.").

the only Surrender that reaps Victory

In my few months of inactivity in the blogosphere, I experienced and discovered a lot of things (most of them great and wonderful things!) that I wish I could share them all with you in just one seating.

I am an optimistic and grateful person by nature; however, my imaginative and analytic mind occasionally weighs down my high and pumped up spirit—as my imagination causes me interruption and my analysis a paralysis. I dream and aim high, but my time bucket was leaking minute by minute.

So, I resolved to pursue my goals effectively (doing right things) and efficiently (doing things right) to achieve excellent (doing right things right) results.

With this, I immediately started to figure out where I would start and how I would sustain my progress until I achieve my goals and continue to achieving more, for His glory.

From my experiences, observation, and lessons from friends’ stories...
 ‘good preparation’ proves itself to be indispensable;
 ‘punctuality’ associates itself to victory;
 ‘constant practice’ establishes credibility even without the help of words
 ‘taming of tongue’ molds one to be wise;
 ‘gratitude and joy’ invisibly floats one up to success;
 ‘upright character’ sustains one on top;
 ‘positive thoughts and words’ amazingly change lives (yours and others);
…and most importantly,
 ‘unwavering complete faith’ in Him keeps one on the right track.

I saw how the combination of these eight works in the lives of my friends and other successful people. In God’s grace, I myself am now enjoying the harvest of my used-to-be little seed of determination to succeed… which later on turned into my fruitful tree of desire to glorify Him in whatever I do.

When He comes to your life, you will never be the same again. When you taste the rewards of His promises, you will constantly desire to glorify Him. The sweetest surrender of life, ever—completely putting your life in His hands.

When Best is Not Enough

Through all the seasons and faces of life
We’ve journeyed together
Enduring the tide, enjoying the ride
You were here beside me,
Inasmuch as I was to you
You have been my best buddy
I’ve been the best I could to you

“My best yesterday has never established itself to be the best
Because it’s always beaten by what I do today”
I couldn’t settle, I wasn’t contented
Especially if what I do was for you
Don’t worry, though
I relish the tide, I treasure the ride

We walk side-by-side
Our arms kissing each other
Our hands hugging one another
Everyday I assured you
We would be happy, we would be okay
I accepted you, I protected you
I cherished you most
I loved you with all my best

I wanted to improve
I told myself to be the best in everything I do
Especially if it was for you
You made me cry—I smiled my best
I stumbled in pain—I uttered my wisest
We had been away—I initiated faithfulness

I aimed for my best
Coz best was all about you—
It set you special, made you loved
It ignited you, cheered you up
It inspired you, pumped you up

Now the sundown has come
It’s time for you to go
I smile, I breathe, I retrospect
Smile again, and pray
This time I don’t know—
How my best will keep up
And make you cheer up
When I myself don’t know
How to turn the table and go

Until this last bit
I offer my best to you
My tears are for pain
That I have to let you go
My tears are for joy
For this means I am letting you soar—
Achieve your freedom,
Pull off the heavens,
Where my prince,
Who’s you, belongs to

I gave you what seemed to you my never-ending best
But for me, this best had never been enough
Now, perhaps, this is the ultimate test
If I truly love you
I have to surrender you
To the care of the One who loves you most

More than I can ever love you—
All my strength and good intentions combined
Only the Best and the Most,
Our Lord, the Creator
Of my most treasured gift
Can truly protect, save, and fill you

To you my love,
I express best my gratitude
By praying for you
And wishing you well
Now, I bid my best goodbye
I send my joy with you
As I see you go and fly

Single is More

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.




Whenever…

…we hear the word ‘single (oh, with her beauty and brains she’s still single?)
…we see the word ‘single’ (line for singles and line for married…shall I reveal that I’m still single given my age?)
…we utter the word ‘single’ (yes, I’m still single and ready to mingle!)

…we hear different reactions. Different people hold different opinions and feel of the word.

In our solitude moments, thinking that we are single incites various thoughts and feelings. Some may be happy, others may get frustrated. Many may feel fortunate, and still others may feel empty.

An English professor may even hold a different opinion—that ‘single’ always means one. Yes ONE! Singular. Alone. With no one. By oneself.

I’ve been to some situations of being single (Yes, different phases—committed single with boyfriend around and with boyfriend away; and uncommitted single). I also witnessed various types of being single, and I discovered that ‘single’ is, not one, and it’s does not just denote many, but ‘more’.

I had a long-time relationship. It was colorful. It felt good to have an all-time partner in doing things and also a long-distance inspiration when I had to study away from home.

However, when we broke up many things changed. I went through my own phasing of DABDA—denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Fortunately, because of God, things happened so quickly and I was able to see what happened as a blessing in disguise. With a grateful heart, I was able to turn the situation around and use my situation—single again—as a good opportunity and foundation on which I will willingly build on more good things.

With gratitude and hope for a better everyday, wonderful things surprisingly lined themselves up to me.

There are times that we must think of separation or the act of leaving (whoever seems to leave the other) as a very good opportunity for growth. Tell youself, “I’m glad he left me because it means I can spread my wings more and soar new heights of self-improvement with and for God.”

Being single once again means knowing myself more and enjoying myself in ways greater than I can imagine. While I’m single again, I can have more time for myself, my family, my community, and my friends. All this means more opportunities to serve God.

Being single means more time doing the things I want to do and exploring more things I’ve long been wanting to explore but never had the chance to… Maximizing all this fun learning curve before I get married, or simply before another year pass me by.

Single is fun… Single is ‘more’!

My mom is also a single mother. My father died when I was 10 years old, my younger brother was 6, and my youngest brother was only 3.

Being the strong independent woman that she is, my mother is able to happily raise her three musketeers well, or so I claim.

My other brother wins in international motocross competitions and my youngest brother wins in dance competitions, among the top students in his batch, an athlete, and an officer in their school. No to mention, the two boys are more obedient to mama than their ate.

I haven’t asked my mother yet how it is to raise up three children alone. But deep inside me, a little voice tells me, “It’s hard to be a single mother. Your mother is playing two roles, a mother and a father, at the same time. She gives more—time, effort, and resources—to provide your needs. Thus, you must also give her the sweetest love and the priceless gift of ‘the-best-person-that-you-can-be’ as her reward.”

Because she’s been a really great mother to us, come all four seasons, that other people start to appreciate and look up to my mom. My father’s side of the family loves mama more and more. Other people’s appreciation becomes her strong morale booster and her children’s love and appreciation her Olympic gold medal.

Being a single parent is empowering, fulfilling, and rewarding… Being a single parent means ‘more’!

My grandmother (my father’s auntie) opted to remain single despite some suitors. Perhaps she was blessed to be single.

She happily helped in raising up her nieces and nephews…and eventually, their kids. She hopped from one house of her sibling to the next and one town to another to take good care of her getting more and more ‘children’ and bigger and bigger ‘family’.

When my father was sick, she even traveled a rough 24-hour sail just to be with my father.

My lola Miling, who died just last year, found joy all her life in serving her relatives and making us feel special and loved. In return, she received more love from relatives and even from the relatives of her in-laws.

When she died, she not only gained love and respect, but left and engraved in our hearts the important lessons of her priceless gifts of humility, kindness, and love.

‘Single’ is a fountain of abundant blessings that cannot be bought by money and power… ‘Single’ is more!

No matter what we think of whenever the word ‘single’ pops into our minds… ‘single’ always has superimposed images of ‘more’ (time, opportunities, fun, love, and the list goes on) in our imaginations.

No matter what we feel when we realize that we are single… ‘Single’ always has a power to engrave a different feel of gratitude, joy, pride, and blessedness in our hearts.

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.

Single is not one, lonely idea… ‘Single’ is ‘more’ than good things, blissful feelings, and opportunities combined.

So next time you chance upon your English professor telling you that single is singular, you may answer in repartee that ‘single’ is more time, more love, and more giving and receiving. ‘More’ is never one and alone and is greater than ‘many’. Therefore, single is never alone and is greater than ‘many’.

Me. I am enjoying my life with my loved ones and friends as I prepare myself for the coming of my one true love who will one day be proud of me—that her woman has done a lot of good things for other and for God.

More so, that he can enjoy his life with his life partner and bestfriend—from plumbing and carpentry to cooking and doing the laundry; from playing chess and scrabble to playing tennis and diving; from helping ourfamilies to serving other people and God.

Difficult beginning is not that bad after all

Some people say, ‘beginning is always difficult.’

It may be true… but now I believe that it’s always relative with one's perspective, with one's priorities, with one's strength, with one's wisdom, and most especially, with how much one trust God’s abundance.

In times when we are surprised by circumstances, we may become more vulnerable or we may become indifferent. When unwanted things happen deliberately, we can be prepared to face everything or we can be resistant to what we know will happen next and plot our counteraction to protect our egos.

Others say live life like Teflon, wherein you just let things slide off. No sticking to the situation nor persons. Some may advise us to get on our knees, close our eyes, clasp our hands together, and pray sincerely.

Whichever we decide to follow, in the end it’s still up to us to decide how we will let external factors affect us and how we will live our lives moving forward.

Me, being a person who distinguishes special from general or common (why is there such a word 'special' after all?), there are persons and circumstances that I treat like a Teflon and there are things which I willingly endure and joyfully see difficulty as a sandpaper or a coal-transforming-to-a-diamond until their accompanying pain and pressure come to their natural end, believing that through my strong faith in Him I will attain progress everday and through my sincere prayer God will overflow His abundance upon me.

I’m surprised that now even though I still randomly feel the pain brought a specific subject, I just see it as part and parcel of the necessary process for me to gradually achieve my full potential and experience the wonderful life at its best.

We just have to believe that through our good stance about life, we can heal our own selves through the help of God and the prayers of our loved ones. Truly our trials are just avenues for miracles to happen in our lives.

Now I can say that difficult beginning is a premise for a sweet surrender towards a wonderful and blessed life. Let’s perk up our cheerful hearts and open our grateful eyes!

Life is simply wonderful

We wake up in the morning against a backdrop of a beautiful sun, sweet chirping birds, and smiling flowers; and sometimes of a relaxing fluffy clouds, refreshing crisp air, and calming whisper of dancing leaves or jumping water drops.


Now up for the day. Whichever road we take on the four-street fork, something good is always along each road looking at us and waiting to be picked up and appreciated—perhaps a colorful and sweet-smelling flower, a dancing butterfly, or a honey suspending on a branch. Walking farther there could be a hump or two, a hole or a gap, serving us to enjoy our journey as we dance and hop and make our jumps higher and more enhanced.


Life is not a monotonous note of sweet good things. It is an interesting concoction of everything down and up, sad and joy, sour and sweet.


On the table of grace, bitter coffee is there to prod us to move from our comfortable chair to get sweet crystals from the canister on the shelf so our taste buds could dance. In the highway of life, traffic makes us pause for a moment and see the things we normally overlook, or while seated reflect on yesterday and bullet in mind today’s plans to make it better than yesterday and catch a breath.


Whichever road we take, whatever things come our way, life is always offering us good things that will help us triumph every single day… it’s only up to us how we will look at them and use them to assist us and bless others.


We may encounter numbers of dents and pits in our journey toward our destination, but we must always remember that they are there to build our strong character—grateful eyes, cheerful fighting heart, and a calm and composed mind—which will complete our happiness and lead us to our destination… to the place where the Giver of all these wonderful things dwell.


When we arrive at that eternal bliss with the Father… who will not be satisfied and filled with everlasting joy?