Living (In My Dreams)

Your face is molded to my hands

Your smell lingers wherever I go
Your voice sings on repeat in my ears


I don’t wanna concede
I don’t wanna move a bit
I don’t wanna wake up from my magical daydream


Peeking, glancing, staring
All I could do
Peeking, glancing, staring


Nervous,scared, petrified
I wanna come close
I wanna smile
I wanna say hi


Peeking, glancing, staring
All I could do
Peeking, glancing, staring from afar


Always rushing to bed
Sleeping even in the train
Because it’s only in my sleep where
I hold your hands
I kiss your hair
You so gently whisper in my ear

Always willing to be out of my mind

Even in class

Because it’s only in my day dream where

You stroke my hair

You kiss my lips

I tell the world I love you

In my fantasies we belong to each other
In reality you’re but a dream
Peeking, glancing, staring
Always stolen
Peeking, glancing, staring from afar


I don’t wanna wake up
In my sleep, In my daydream


Constantly
Peeking, glancing, staring
Stolen, uh huh, stolen
Get some help, I’m a thief
Peeking, glancing, staring from afar

One day you,
You’ll be stricken, smitten
No more stolen
Peeking, glancing, staring
You will notice me, and not the girl who

Constantly breaks your heart

I don’t wanna wake up
In my sleep, In my daydream
Constantly
Peeking, glancing, staring
Stolen, uh huh, stolen
Get some help, I’m a thief
Peeking, glancing, staring

‘‘ Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.’’ ~ John Keats

Some teenage puppy love right there... :-)

Been in the mood of writing poems recently. But this one I wrote months back and was originally written in Filipino, because I intended to submit it for a song writing competition, but I wasnt able to send for some reason...

Prisoner

We were young and free

Enjoying our burgeoning

You held my heart

Gently you stole it from me

I didn’t see it, I didn’t see it

Til I noticed

You took me wherever you wanted to go

Never letting me go

Now I was a prisnoner

A prisoner of your love

Your cell was the best place

I myself didn’t wanna go

I wanna be a prisoner

A prisoner of your love

We were young and free

Enjoying the spring time of our lives

You walked into my life

I didn’t see it, I didn’t see it

Til I felt you running
Running in my head

And thumping my heart so fast

You locked yourself up

Threw the key

Never leaving

Never stopped thumping my heart so fast

You were a prisoner

A prisoner of my love

I woke up one day

Still a prisoner of your love

The cell I didn’t imagine this way

Sometimes it’s cold

I laid on the ground alone

Waiting for your gentle arms

Wrapping them around me

Sometimes it’s too small

I stayed on the corner

Sharing the chamber

With two or three more

I woke up one day

Still a prisoner

Now finding the door unlocked

Hesitating, stumbling

Hesitating, crying

I myself didn’t wanna go

I wanna be a prisoner

A prisoner of your love

I woke up one day

Still a prisoner

Now finding the door unlocked

But it was still the best place

I myself didn’t wanna go

I wanna be a prisoner

A prisoner of your love

You still take me wherever you wanted to go

Still never letting me go

Told myself,

I’m in cold, I’m in crowded

Cold and crowded cell of your love

I remembered the days

We were young and free

Now, when I wake up

I remember those days

When I was still a prisoner

A prisoner in your cold, crowded cell

I should thank you

Thank you for making it cold and crowded

It led me back to freedom

Freedom I couldn’t have relished again

The juvenile is now free

Free again

Enjoying the time of my life

Enjoying the time of my life

Like never been before

Thank you for making it cold

Thank you for making it crowded

I’m now enjoying the time of my life

Enjoying the time of my life

Like never been before




Just a simple February art :-) I noticed I haven't written any poem for quite a while. I wish I were a  musician so I could arrange it myself and sing it after saying, "hit it!"

Thinking Out Loud in My Boudoir: Sweet Tooth

It’s not how much money you spend for the surprise, rather, how much of yourself you put in it.

“Which is sweeter—love or sugar?”

I chuckled upon hearing that kindergartish question. The words are fundamental and the tone innocent that it appeared witty for me.

The statement hovered in my head. I wasn’t sure why the guy asked it. What I’m sure of is it made me think like a six-year-old who just saw her crush playing with another girl along the corridor.

I thought to myself, “Love’s sweetness goes beyond the taste buds. It flows down the heart and stimulates the senses.”

The munchkin in me retorted, “Sugar is forever sweet while love sometimes gives bitterness. Touché!”

Love or sugar. Flower or chocolates. Home-cooked dinner or fancy 12-course dinner date. Massage by your bare hands or Swedish massage in a hotel.

Whatever your dominant love language is—words of affirmation, service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch—the important thing is you express your true feelings out of joy and with sincerity… fine, with real love.

Don’t worry if you’re still a student, unemployed, or just not as wealthy as the other guy. Girls, ladies, women—whatever body type we have at the moment (because we, I for one, don’t grow old, only mature with age *winks)—what matters to us is the thought and the deliberateness of actions of our significant others’ expression of love.

 

It’s not how much money you spend for the surprise, rather, how much of yourself you put in it.

Love or sugar?

Uhm, like a dark chocolate or a kiwi-strawberry smoothie, love’s bumps and dents and even heartbreaks, or the other sources of bitterness or sweet-lemonading, are what make love’s taste just right…

It's the numerous feelings, tastes, and colors that love brings and teaches that make the next moment or next romance or next relationship better tasting and vibrant. It's the quintessence your expression of love and the authenticity of your feelings still weigh more to a she-heart.

I’ll go for love. It may not be forever sweet, but it sure does not cloy your appetite and melt your icing to waste or harden your boring caramel to death.

Five sure things:

            1. Telling us the basic “thank you” “sorry” “I love you” “you are special” is a very good way to hearts. (Words)

      

           2. Surprising us with your simple personally cooked food, whatever its taste, makes you better looking. (Service)

            

            3. Grabbing anything for us on your way home, like as grand as a sachet of coffee or as fancy a hand sanitizer, is like watering our blooming hearts. (Gift)

            

           4. Sitting beside us as we watch TV, waiting for us in the salon, or accompanying in the department store—whether you’re just acting you’re awake or enjoying or cool with it or not—makes you a bodyguard, correction, a security blanket which makes us feel safe. (Time)

           

           5. Simple gestures as wrapping your arms around us while watching TV, holding our hands while crossing the street, stroking our hair to sleep just make you seem like a gentle wingless angle. (Touch)

So simple to express love, right?

Us women are particular and feely like that in varying degrees. Some of us just don’t admit it, but there is that someone inside us who still wants to feel special no matter how nagger, hysterical, dominant, snooty, nonchalant, cool, we may seem.

Besides, when you're in love you don't run out of ways to express your feelings—simple or grand—and you always feel excited, tireless, and unremitting expressing what you feel just for the other feel loved and special.

Being in love is feeling limitless.

Know the love language, you will get the right measurement of love’s sweetness in different situations and days and moods and…

We seem complicated because men give us that label, but we’re not.

We are simple. We just want “you” in it.

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Thinking Out Loud in my Boudoir is a column for some of my random thoughts that, perhaps, other ladies my age are also experiencing or thinking of—whether from same vantage point or another. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just my own voice reverberating in my own world. I will do my best to discriminate my reason in this column, and just write spontaneously the first things and thoughts that a normal lady could think of. Just writing as I think...

Thinking Out Loud in My Boudoir: Falling in Laugh

Yet love life isn't exciting without a dash of laugh out of surprise, ounce of laugh out of amazement, and a liberal sprinkle of laugh of out joy.

It's February! It's love month!

Yes, everyday should be a love day, but February is February... A love month! Uhm, yes by tradition.

For many girls, ladies, and women, February is a special love month. (Or is it just me?)

As a grade school girl, February 14 was a special time for me to make a personalized Valentine card for my parents. The one with two stick persons holding a heart and with more small hearts above their heads.

When I was a teenager to early 20s, the entire month of Feb was just so special and the month was just really short of days for cooking special gimicks and surprises for the one I loved.

As a lady that I am now, February is still much like when I was in the immediately preceding phase, except that now is just more fine tuned in many aspects and inclusive, and of course much better.

Bottom line, whatever stage we're in, we ladies are just inherently expressive of our feelings and we love loving.

So you guys, don't be irritated or intimidated nor be indifferent. Reciprocate the actions while they last. Be surprised if your woman does nothing to make you feel loved.

Yet love life isn't exciting without a dash of laugh out of surprise, ounce of laugh out of amazement, and a liberal sprinkle of laugh of out joy.

Laugh! Be happy in the relationship you're in. Have an authentic love laugh!

Call it silly love... But for us girls it's simply love itself.

Us girls translate our overflowing joy, excitement, and "kilig" with a controlled laugh when we can no longer contain our feelings.

If you're single dear girlfriend, don't worry. After a long relationship, I'm now happily single too! Enjoying the time of my life--the positive and productive freedom and me-time I have between a relatively long relationship (past) and the real thing life-long partnership (future). Things are simply refreshing and enlightening in many ways I didn't imagine.

Despite being single, I still see February as a great month. I'm still excited to express love and surprise my loved ones.

Ladies are just naturally expressively loving. It's a girl thing (winks).

It's so easy and handy to express love when you truly love the person--family, friends, special someone.

So hey hey hey you (and me), what are you doing right there? Go and surprise your loved ones with a simple I love you note, cookies you baked, flower from your garden, what have you...

February. Forever Excited to Bestow and Refresh Unconditional Admiration and Respect with Youthfulness...

That's just how I see February should be. Expressing love... not only for your BFs or GFs, but also to those you admire and respect.

Happy February! :-)

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Thinking Out Loud in my Boudoir is a column for some of my random thoughts that, perhaps, other ladies my age are also experiencing or thinking of—whether from same vantage point or another. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just my own voice reverberating in my own world. I will do my best to discriminate my reason in this column, and just write spontaneously the first things and thoughts that a normal lady could think of. Just writing as I think...

Protecting Yourself from Vampires

The biggest blessing of protecting yourself from difficult people is gaining the freedom to genuinely see the seed of goodness that God planted in their hearts and their significant roles in refining and molding you to the wiser, more loving, and more joyful person that you are now…or simply the better you.

Do you feel exhausted? Are you fed up? Is someone sucking your energy?

You have the power to protect yourself!

After spotting your vampire, it is important to protect yourselves from your personal vampires; otherwise, they will attack your core and decay your soul or will influence you and make you one of them.

Their national game that exhausts you is the “Damned if you do; Damned if you Don’t” game.

Whether your vampire is your parent, boss, spouse, or close friend, you still need to protect yourself from them so you can love them more, or at least preserve yourself so you can give more of yourself—you have the energy and zest to serve, care for, and love those who deserve your energy most.

You cannot give what you don’t have! If your energy is low, you cannot help others. If you’re stressed out and irritated, it’s hard to sincerely share joy. If your heart is full of hatred, how can you genuinely give love? If you lack knowledge, how can you properly guide and teach the younger ones?

Hence, we need to protect ourselves so we have selves to give to others through service, friendships, and by simply sharing blessings.

But in order to protect ourselves from these difficult persons, we need first to recognize and appreciate that “understanding” them is the key to free ourselves from their bondage and vicious cycle. Still, we need to protect ourselves from them.

Don’t allow them to abuse you, nor allow yourself to spoil or tolerate them. Otherwise, you will bear the consequences of making a vampire in others.

If you love someone, you set him free and want him to be happy and successful… same goes for yourself (Leviticus 19:18, “love your neighbor as yourself.”)

Loving our vampire neighbors does not mean allowing them to stress us out. Instead, loving them means not spoiling and tolerating them and protecting ourselves from them by putting boundaries or limitations so we can love them properly sans the decaying stress between us.

Unless you’re free from the power of difficult people, you cannot understand and love them.

Remember, you have the power to break free and to protect yourself! You will not be tested beyond your capacity to solve your trials, including freeing yourself from your vampires.

We can protect ourselves from the vampires by preparing for their “Damned if you do; Damned if you don’t” game without the intention to hurt them.

So basic and simple like ABC 123. Here’s how…

Be aware. We need to deliberately and properly prepare for the difficult situations the vampires have had hurling at us time and again; so when it happens again, we already know what to do to protect ourselves and go about the situation to avoid further and unnecessary hurts.

Love ourselves. Loving oneself breeds respect for oneself. It makes us feel good about ourselves; thus loving ourselves naturally and automatically creates sturdy wall that protects us from exhausting vampires. Properly loving ourselves results in good health, good disposition, and doing good to others.

Living with a vampire is tantamount to allowing ourselves to be punished emotionally (sleepless nights and trauma), physically (sickness due to stress), spiritually (losing purpose, dreams, vision, and direction).

Damned if you do… damned if you don’t game.

Imagine this: You’re watching TV at home with your older brother. You’re enjoying the show. You’re laughing, you’re learning. Then suddenly you feel hungry. You get your favorite pasta and bread from the dining table, the last serving and the only food left by your mom for afternoon snack. When you return to the living room, your brother is surfing the channels and asks you to give him your food…  if you will give him the food he will eat them all as he scans the channels through the only remote; if you will not, he will throw hurting words at you, bully you, and will still get the food from you and will not let you hold the remote control as he is watches another show.

So what you do…

      1.    Retreat and find food elsewhere

Take one step backward so you can take two steps forward.

This may mean staying away and taking a break, pausing and catching some breath, and recuperating elsewhere for a while.

It may also mean not cutting relationship with the vampires. It may mean decreasing your time with the vampires. By doing this, you strike your chances of being drained or influenced by the vampire (Proverbs 22:24-25, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered  person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”)

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you or manipulating you, then walk out and find food elsewhere. If you have friends who are sucking your energy, joy, and peace, then spend lesser time with them.

      2.      Protect your head and eat your food

Bask in the sun, float on top of the wave.

This entails creating an emotional space between you and the difficult person.

If your vampire is your boss, spouse, or parents, you cannot just walk out immediately and create a physical space; hence you create an emotional space. As Eleanor Roosevelt puts it, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

We can create emotional space by imagining, especially when the truth is not obvious.

Imagine your difficult person as little Hercules.

Reduce the significance and impact of your vampire on you. Whatever he says or does becomes insignificant to you. You no longer focus on his sweet empty words or you can take his harsh words as unsharpened doubled-bladed sword. Now, you see your little Hercules vampire shout at you, but you cannot understand his little voice. You see him, but you’re no longer terrified.

Though this way, you focus on the only two important opinions, “First, what God thinks of you—full of potential, beautiful lamb, and a victor; second, your opinion of yourself—who you can be and want to be.”

Imagine an angel coming.

Through this way, you emphasize the element of “understanding.”

You see his brokenness not his badness.

By surrendering the difficult person to God, you let your angel come to take the vampire from your life to bring it to God’s repair room.

Imagine the truth.

Through this way, you give yourself time to “retrospect, honestly evaluate yourself, and listen to the hopes and dreams of the still voice inside you.”

The evil is in the business of deceiving you.

If one wants to become better in whatever aspect of his life, the evil will always try to pull him down, trap him, or to block the way just to keep him chained in his dark, unhappy underworld.

So, “Watch and pray so you will not fall into temptation (Mark 14:38), and  If God is for us, who can be against us? It is God who justifies (Romans 8:31-32).” 

If you want to get rid of your emotional vampires and achieve your dreams, you need someone who believes in you and in your dreams and who supports and cheers you on as you reach them.

There will always be people who will spice up your life with difficulty and challenges, whether they’re conscious of it or not. Moreover, there will always be people around you who will hold opinion about what you believe in or do, and they may even have predictions about your life… but hey, it’s okay!

 

You have a choice… to remain with the vampire or to break free.

You have two important stronghold… what God thinks of you and what you think of yourself.

The biggest blessing of protecting yourself from difficult people is gaining the freedom to genuinely see the seed of goodness that God planted in their hearts and their significant roles in refining and molding you to the wiser, more loving, and more joyful person that you are now…or simply the better you.

FLY! First Love Yourself.

 (Third and last installment, Unfinished Business: Transforming the Vampire will be posted soon)

Flash Fiction: A Walk in the Park that Turned into a Lifetime Journey

Listening to Our Voices with Eagerness; Learning Our Views to Enlighten us; Laughing at Our Vanity for Entertainment; Living up Our Vows for Eternity. Just LOVING.

 The sun was up so bright, I decided to take a walk and catch fresh air in the park. His voice caught my attention, "Miss, you have twigs on your hair." Eagerly and gently, he helped me pluck the twigs. Next thing I knew, we were talking and laughing as we walked through the parade of colorful spring trees.

Never did I think I would find my wingless angel, a heaven-sent man who would share the joy of living and love me despite and in spite of me on that random day in the park. Only he can tickle me with his funny jokes, empower me with his simple words of motivation, bring out the youth in me with his fun-loving character, effortlessly inspire me by his example, and make me appreciate my self-worth by his unconditional and ever gentle love. With zeal and joy, he courts me every single day even after our wedding, assuring me that we will grow wiser together til our hairs turn white.

Falling in love with him was the most wonderful feeling I ever experienced. Ultimate joy of living made real by his presence. Til our last breath I promise to love him through actions and words. Untiringly loving, appreciating, caring, supporting, balancing him are what I dedicated myself into. Revisiting the walks in the park, reminiscing our challenges and victories, and rekindling our youthful love are what we do now that our hairs are gray. Every joyful thing and more...

Listening to Our Voices with Eagerness;

Learning Our Views to Enlighten us;

Laughing at Our Vanity for Entertainment;

Living up Our Vows for Eternity.

Just LOVING.

Confession of a Sinner: Humbled through the Emotional Vampire

I no longer want to be a victim of my own crime responding to his empty words, I told myself.

It’s semestral break already, but I still have exams. So, I am left alone in the metro as my brother went home for vacation.

All Soul’s Day is nearing. My neighbor who lived right beside our unit died just last August. The TV is featuring horror stories as I write at this moment.

I am not afraid for some reason. I know my God is always with me; I feel strongly secured. Nothing is to be feared, for God is beside us all the time.

Rather, I am afraid of my emotional vampire.

For the past months, I have been bothered by someone part of my history. I don’t know what exactly his motive was, but he was trying to be nice and good all of a sudden. Same pattern, same story. But I am giving benefit of the doubt that his good side urged him to do some good things, which for some reason I don’t know what and why.

I am a sinner. I am like any mortal who sins every single day.

I get angry.

I hate.

I say hurtful words.

Whatever my motive is—good or bad; white lie or plain truth; protect myself or avoid pain; tough love or indifference—the point is I sin. I do not and will not justify my actions with whatever good reasons and valid logic I may recite.

Outrightly, I sin.

I am humbled.

God is a very loving God. He looks past our mistakes, shortcomings, and failures; rather He looks at our potential.

Just the other day, I was so affected by the surprise that the person in my past have had done. In the middle of my refreshed joy and good disposition, I was practically awakened by his presence.

Boom! My heart exploded again. Debris of love, hurt, joy, sadness, hope, resistance combined and scattered everywhere I turned to.

I have forgiven him for all the hurts he caused me for very long years two years ago. I haven’t seen him for a little over a year. You can imagine my world when he showed up one day by surprise.

I thought to myself, “God, I am a sinner. I am weak. I might get even or carry a grudge or consciously let myself be fooled again. Guide me and may Your will be done for the best of us.”

I opened up myself to various emotions. Always reminding myself to give the person the chance to do whatever good he has in mind so he could be freed from the yoke he was carrying as he claimed.

I thought I already closed the door of the past and threw away the key that I would no longer be affected. But when his empty words came rushing again, I felt uncomfortable. At first I was hurt. I thought I was hurt. But as the events unfolded and same pattern happened again, I recognized, my feeling was not only hurt, but already with dash of annoyance and a tinge of anger.

I no longer want to be a victim of my own crime responding to his empty words, I told myself.

Two years ago, I gave what he asked of me. I let go of the treasure I held for a long time. I moved on on my own. I minded my own business. I never bothered the person, no matter how much the world inside me was quaking. I went away silently. I forgave. I wished him well.

The hurt has been dashed with anger after I clearly and honestly told him again my feelings and condition—I am not yet okay. I am still in the process of healing. Please let me move on as you live your own life.

He was with her, but he looked for my new address and tried to cut-and-paste me in his life.

That is foolishness and that greatly insulted me.

I have just been bitten by an emotional vampire. My energies were sucked out.

No one to blame, but myself for letting it happen. I admit, I allowed myself to be bitten. I could have been careful, but I was not.

The good news is, God only wants the best for us.

Everything happens for a good reason. God’s hands are at work in our lives preparing us to rightfully receive His amazing blessings.

I am a sinner. I am tempted. I get mad. I desire earthly pleasures.

But through God’s gift of grace, we are renewed and cleansed every single day.

It is by God’s great love and mercy that we are saved—not through ourselves, not a single goodness of hand, so no one can boast of his greatness.

Each day comes, each day I sin.

Each day I sin, each day God forgives and cleanses me.

With very thankful heart, I will do my best not to let His love be futile in my life.

I let God hold my hands, rather than I holding his hands. For as human as I am, I am inclined to let go of His hands in times of convenience, of earthly pleasure, or in times of difficulty.

With God’s guidance and leading, I know each thing every single day is wired to improve me and prepare me for His best for me.

Without delay, I am confessing the contents of my sinful heart after He surprised me with a very moving and touching words for me today, through the day’s readings and gospel… all to give thanks to Him and bring honor and glory to His name.

Like the crippled woman healed on the Sabbath, God healed and re-assured me by speaking directly to my sinful, heavy, and struggling heart as He always does, at His perfect timings…

Readings and Gospel for Monday, October 29, 2012:

            Ephesians 4:32-5:8

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5 ¹ Follow God’s example,therefore, as dearly loved children ² and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.^[e]6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. ⁷ Therefore do not be partners with them.

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 

            Psalm 1:1-2, 3, 4, and 6

¹ Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

⁴ Not so the wicked!
    They are like chaff
    that the wind blows away.
⁶ For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

            Luke 13:10-17

¹⁰ On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, ¹¹ and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years.She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. ¹² When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” ¹³ Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

¹⁴ Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

¹⁵ The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? ¹⁶ Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”

¹⁷ When he said this, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.

As the Halloween approaches, let us not quiver in terror of the scary images in our minds.

Instead, let us be willing to face head on our emotional vampires that suck the energy out of us and recognize the power of God in turning these vampires into blessings in our lives—not only to see ourselves more clearly, but to allow ourselves to be healed to help others and be saved to serve others.

Knowing our sources of burden or sin should not be confused with condemning others and think highly of ourselves; but to know our weak buttons so we can offer them to God for healing. That our wounds become a source of healing for others we meet along our life’s journey.

I am no sinless; but through God’s grace I strive to sin less and less.

I was hurt. I got mad. I sinned. Now, I am humbled by God’s grace.

Instead to get scared on All Soul’s Day, I am choosing to pray for the Soul’s of our faithful departed and to reflect on my soul’s condition to bring back into kilter, as how God wants us to be—faithful and living in light.