Experience Bank: Live Now, Secure Your Future

Live your life. Deposit the experiences to your Bank. Withdraw them any time you need to draw the lessons or feelings that can fuel your passion. Gain interest by making good use of your experiences.

Live!

Invest now.

Secure the future—not only yours, but even your descendants’.

Imagine yourself in a deathbed. Cruel idea? Not really. It might even save you from thousands of regrets. If you would look back on how you lived your life, would you smile or frown?

Now snap back to reality.

Establish your own bank! Your own bank of experiences, where you deposit your lessons learned, failures, your dreams, your successes, what have you.

 

In your own Experience Bank, be your own CEO. Be your own teller; your own ATM; and even your own security guard.

Start monitoring your activities, your life transactions. In this way you’ll be in auto-active mode. Because you don’t want to be zero or in the red, yourself will naturally make activities that will propel you to progress instead of getting stuck at where you are now.

Have you tried playing a game on your phone or on the internet and you just suddenly get hooked on it because you want to beat the best score? Same thing could work if you will consciously monitor your life transactions.

Closing your eyes and recall the week that was. Would you want to see a dark blank image or hear a story on repeat each week? Of course not!

Start by refreshing your heart and mind buttons. Just like in real banks, you also have to "know your customer" or the KYC policy. Ask yourself what you want to achieve in life (finish this course, invest in that business, travel to this continent, earn that much…name it!). Then plot your personalized map or timetable on how and when you will get them. Be realistic in setting your goals and timelines, and be deliberate with your actions—short-term, medium-term, and long-term action plans.

Go out of your nook! See the world. Learn from people from various walks of life. Visit places. Have a taste of different cultures and subcultures.

Your experiences and your observations will inspire you in ways you do not expect and many useful ideas will just pop out of nowhere. If you will constantly move and progress, all these fruitful activities—simple and complex alike—will snowball and incur interest that will make you a million-dollar worth person without spending even a tenth of it.

If you have no money to finance any activity, it’s okay! If you don't have a college degree, it’s alright! In your own Experience Bank, your own CEO doesn’t care. You can still become a client, an investor.

Even if you don’t have money or don’t have a diploma, the world is so big and limitless, it can offer you wide array of opportunities to fulfill your goal. You just have to be determined to achieve your goal and be purposeful with your actions. Look around you, do you know Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Henry Sy, Lucio Tan, or any drop out or rags-to-riches in your place? Learn from them.

You see, your imaginations, your experiences, and your generosity can grow your worth. By doing something, you only gain, you never lose any.

I cannot tell how you must live your life. You are your own boss, your own captain. You are your own CEO remember? But what I can tell you with certainty and confidence is, you can be victorious! You can be worth more than a million!

Just have a goal. Own it. Do something about it constantly.

Your experiences are priceless and cannot be stolen from you. They can even gain interest by putting them to good use and sharing them with your kids, who can learn from them, or even try or improve them, and pass them on to their kids to further improve them.

Live your life. Deposit your experiences to your Bank. Withdraw them any time you need to draw the lessons or the feelings you had that can fuel your passion. Gain interest by making good use of your experiences.

If you are the CEO, you have the say on how to grow your Experience Bank; remember, you are also the security guard who has the duty to control what may be deposited and at what given time; what may be withdrawn and when; and who may come with you in the bank.

To launch your bank, get your pen and paper.

       1. Make a Gratitude Notebook

Divide the page in halves lengthwise. On the left column, write the “Things I Am Thankful For” (at least 10 things that happened during that day). On the right column, write the “Things I Am Thankful For (yes, same time, but these are the things that you claim to happen and you feel that is happening already. Attract them, think of them, and your body will naturally respond to get them). Do this daily to reinforce them.

       2. Make a Timetable/Map to get to your goals

By writing down your goals or dreams, you have a clear picture of where you are now and you can devise ways on how to get to your goal on a specific date. There may be many ways in skinning a cat, but be specific about your goals and timings. This timetable/map will serve as your guide, as your compass, in knowing where you are as you progress towards your goals or dreams.

       3. Keep a mini notebook with you

This will serve as your bankbook. Whenever  you learn something, observe something, realize something, write it down. In time you will need them. This bankbook will keep a record of your experiences, so don’t hesitate to write down both the “ouch!” and the “wow!”, and the “no!” and the “yes!”.

After mapping out your investment schedule, just keep on moving whatever your mood is. Do not worry about your future… just live where you are, your future starts now. Invest there, grow from here.

“…your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” ~ Matthew 6:32-34

“Fortune favors the bold.” ~ Virgil

Roar ain't Enough to Make a Good Bleat

The sun is peeping between the chains of mountains. The golden orange cotton cloud is gradually eating the light blue expanse. Life is starting to fill the surroundings—chickens clucking, birds chirping, goats bleating.

Unique, the outcast tiger cub, cheerfully jumps off his flattened thick grass bed and greets the baby goats good morning.

The kids, with their unkempt clumpy fur, look at each other and laugh at Unique in chorus.

Unique was found by mother goat alone, wounded, and helpless in the prairie, so she decided to bring him home and to raise him well like her own.

It's been months already since unique lived, played, and worked with them but the goat's ways just fail to be imprinted upon him.

He cannot bleat like how the goats bleat. He doesn't like the taste of the meals of the goats, but he just keeps it to himself. His coat and body structure is different from the goat kids he plays with.

The kids always make fun of Unique because he is different—big and guttural voice, stripy fur, thick but few whiskers, big paws, sharp claws, stocky body. So Unique thinks that he is ugly; he is unacceptable; he is weak; he is cursed. Unique becomes the laughing stock in the prairie.

Unique starts to develop self-pity and inferiority complex, and other self-images that breed negative attitudes. The once cheerful and friendly unique now becomes aloof and insecure.

One day when the goats and Unique go up the mountain to play. Each brings a bag full of leaves and grass since the season is dry.

The goats laugh at the way Unique walks and the way his tail moves. Unique cannot talk back since they will just keep on laughing, this time at the way he bleats. So Unique contains the anger in his throat. When the goats start to get tired from playing on their way up, they start eating their food. Unique, on the other hand, is still full of energy and his food still untouched, partly because he doesn’t like it.

When they are halfway through up, the goats' bags are already almost empty. They ask Unique for some food as his bag is still full. Unique refuses to share his every time they ask him for some food.

Unique's back is starting to ache while the goats are starting to feel hungry and weak, yet the goats keep playing and laughing on their way up as they keep on making fun of Unique's manners of walking and bleating and his seemingly unflagging strength. The heavy throb in his chest makes him want to tear them apart; but the voice of his mother goat talking in his mind stops him so.

Seeing a river, they all stop for a drink. Unique sees his reflection on the glaring, clear, slow running water. He realizes not only are his voice and coat different from theirs but also his face and size. Unique feels even uglier and more insecure after seeing his reflection. He feels so inferior and unblessed.

To make himself feel better, he seals his bag so tightly so the leaves and grass will not fall from it as they climb and so the goats will feel the pain he feels even just by means of hunger. Unique feels bad about what he is doing to his brothers and friends; but his anger and insecurity shoot up that he'd rather see them hungry than share food with them.

Some of the goats faint as they move up the hardly trailed ridge; others stop at some point to find food; until only Unique remains walking up with aching back and all alone.

Unique reaches the pinnacle, and no-one else.

Unique looks around. He stares at the vastness of the field below. He realizes how big the world is and how ugly and weak and different and lonely he is.

In his sadness, Unique sobs. Until he cries so hard that his voice trembles til it cracks a roar. Unique is surprised of what he hears. He gets scared of the voice coming from within. Another roar comes out of his throat. He chuckles in curiosity and fear. He thinks the monster inside him is coming out due to his uncontained anger. He just cannot control it, he keeps on roaring as he cries in pity and fear.

To his surprise, a bleat fades in with the gush of the wind from behind. It is mother goat trying to comfort him and thank him. All the while, mother goat was following them as they played and climbed unaware.

"Don't be sad because you're different," quips mother goat. "Unique, you are special. You will never be like any of us no matter how hard you try because you were born bigger, stronger, and faster. Thank you for doing your best to be one of us."

Unique’s sadness now melts to confusion as to why his mother goat is saying he is special and is thanking him. Before he talks in disbelief and further skepticism, mother goat tells him the truth—how she found him and who he really is.

"I love you that's why I brought you home and cared for you. I saw your goodness and potentials that's why I trusted you in a lot of things, including how gently and carefully you treat your brother goats, who belittle you and laugh at your differences," says mother goat.

"You are meant to do other things than what we are doing. Your brothers are surely better than you in doing our thing. Your roar will never be good enough a bleat. All this is because you are born for another thing. Listen to the beat of your heart, it is telling you who you are," added mother goat in assurance.

Unique brushes his face on the face of his mother goat. He is moved by the sincerity of his mother goat's words and the love she has shown him since the day he can remember.

Now Unique forgives his brother goats and friends, and most importantly, he forgives himself. He now embraces who he is and starts to unlearn his unfounded self-image as he begins to build a new self-image established on acceptance(of who he is), gratitude(for what he has), and forgiveness(for what his self-pity and insecurity made him to be).

"Go out in the open field, my son. Discover your voice, your strength, your beauty, and your role and place in the field," mother goat encourages Unique.

In gratitude and respect, Unique thanks mother goat and kisses her goodbye.

Unique checks, once more, his reflection on  the river. He practices his unsteady roar and runs and leaps as he reaches the vast open field. Unique feels the lightness and joy of being his own self. He now appreciates his strength, his size, and the purpose of the stripes of his coat.

Still in awe of his abilities and potentials, he realizes that the reason why his back ached as they climbed the mountain is not because he was lacking energy but because he never unloaded his "baggage" due to trumped up self-pity, insecurity, anger, and selfishness.

Now, as Unique accepts his whole being—both what he can and cannot do—he also gains self-respect.

xxx

Friends, go out, experience the world, and push yourself to the limit... Perhaps the reason why you feel awkward or your voice cannot be understood or others see you differently or you don't fit in is simply because you are different... Be bold. Your "bleat" will never be good enough if you are meant to "roar." Discover what you are made of, treat yourself as how you are to the eyes of your Creator, and grow where you should be. Seize the day as how He sees you!"

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I am so happy I am here again! I have been very busy, happily busy, for the past few months that I was not able to write an article... I have a list of entries to write, though. I just need to buy time to sit and type. For now, enjoy the fable :-)

Thinking Out Loud in My Boudoir: Escaping Reality

This will always be the reality and you can never escape it: you are in charge of your choices (mind) and your happiness (heart). Freedom is a gift. Reality is a guide. Do not escape freedom and reality.

When we were kids we wanted to grow old and assume responsibility, we were curious about a lot of things and wanted to try them.

Now that we are adults, we want to be like children—consciously or unconsciously. We want to be stress-free, problem-free. We want to be free from responsibility.

I remember just a little over the death of my father, my perspective of a lot of things changed and I started to become aware of many things, perhaps necessity dictated and demanded. I believe that was the first turning point of my life, and my “official growing up” was way too early, or so I believe.

Part of my new perspective then was that I should be grateful and excited when I recognize I have a trial. When I feel uncomfortable—pain, difficulty, negative emotion—I thought I had new things to be thankful for and to look forward to. I have new things to learn.

When I was a kid, trials or challenges or problems meant new experiences, new lessons, and wisdom.

As I (we) grow older, we think we have had learned more than enough about life, that we are better equipped after all the various experiences we have gone through in life. So we stop being interested about life and we start avoiding pains and stress brought by problems thinking we've had more than enough.

Little do we know that our knowledge of things, our mind map of our lives and our future, needs constant revision, and sometimes major revisions.

We all know that growth—in any area or aspect of our lives—requires pains and taking responsibility as we face our problems. Yet, most of us we ignore this obvious fact. As a result, we avoid responsibility and suffering.

What we don't realize is by avoiding responsibility and suffering, we either let our problems grow as we hide them and deny them, thinking they naturally go away; or we let others handle them for us.

By doing so, we either unconsciously pet our problem like growing a monster we're too scared of or we give away our liberty and control to decide for ourselves. Consequently, either way, we keep our problem and we hamper our own growth.

As adults faced with problems, we tell ourselves now:
1. It's all my fault, but I'm tired of this. I will let it be, anyway all this shall come to pass. (Blaming oneself)
2. It's his/her/their/this world's fault. I have no control over them. Why should I bother myself with his/her/its mess. The heck I care. (Blaming the world)

If we will not take the time to look at things or situations, we will not be able to identify the source of the problem and the significant problem we need to solve.

With our era, where everything is fast paced and new information is available everyday, we must be willing and deliberate in equipping ourselves with skills and knowledge to be able to keep up with time and grow with it.

Let us engage ourselves with our peers. Observe and learn from others.

Most importantly, nurture our relationship with our very own selves. Let us take the time to know ourselves better—skills, weaknesses, strengths, potentials.

Let's live in the now. Face reality. Take accountability. Embrace and accept ourselves. Know, feel, and believe that we are valuable whether people around us perceive us as such or not.

One day we will be surprised, solving life's trials and managing our time for pain and pleasure becomes natural and easy for us. What will be more surprising is, we will naturally become more grateful, blessing expert, and happy persons.

When we know in our deepest fiber that we are valuable, then we start realizing our need for constant growth and the importance of taking hold of our freedom to choose and decide for ourselves are both indispensable parts of having a good life.

And the result?

We become more willing to experience pain and we become more open to new things because we know that through them we become capable of understanding and helping ourselves, and it's ripple effect is we become resilient, understanding of others, generous, and happier than ever... All because we grow and refresh our perspective.

There will always be people and situations that will make our lives difficult, and that's the reality. Our pains or discomfort will always be part of our lives as long as we breathe. Hence, we need to constantly recognize those which are necessary problems and unnecessary ones.

To do that, we must take time to spot the source of the problem; make ourselves comfortable with it; take reasonable time to study the necessary problem; focus; solve it; and learn from it.

Know you are no longer a child totally dependent, helpless, and problem-free.

Live and act your age. Enjoy your independence in deciding for yourself and utilize your control over whatever consequence your decision may breed—painful or joyful. Take responsibility.

Nonetheless, balance your life by acting your age yet enjoying that childlike gratitude, zeal about life, and courage.

This will always be the reality and you can never escape it: you are in charge of your choices (mind) and your happiness (heart).

Freedom is a gift. Reality is a guide. Do not escape reality and freedom.

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Thinking Out Loud in my Boudoir is a column for some of my random thoughts that, perhaps, other ladies my age are also experiencing or thinking of—whether from same vantage point or another. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just my own voice reverberating in my own world. I will do my best to discriminate my reason in this column, and just write spontaneously the first things and thoughts that a normal lady could think of. Just writing as I think...

Protecting Yourself from Vampires

The biggest blessing of protecting yourself from difficult people is gaining the freedom to genuinely see the seed of goodness that God planted in their hearts and their significant roles in refining and molding you to the wiser, more loving, and more joyful person that you are now…or simply the better you.

Do you feel exhausted? Are you fed up? Is someone sucking your energy?

You have the power to protect yourself!

After spotting your vampire, it is important to protect yourselves from your personal vampires; otherwise, they will attack your core and decay your soul or will influence you and make you one of them.

Their national game that exhausts you is the “Damned if you do; Damned if you Don’t” game.

Whether your vampire is your parent, boss, spouse, or close friend, you still need to protect yourself from them so you can love them more, or at least preserve yourself so you can give more of yourself—you have the energy and zest to serve, care for, and love those who deserve your energy most.

You cannot give what you don’t have! If your energy is low, you cannot help others. If you’re stressed out and irritated, it’s hard to sincerely share joy. If your heart is full of hatred, how can you genuinely give love? If you lack knowledge, how can you properly guide and teach the younger ones?

Hence, we need to protect ourselves so we have selves to give to others through service, friendships, and by simply sharing blessings.

But in order to protect ourselves from these difficult persons, we need first to recognize and appreciate that “understanding” them is the key to free ourselves from their bondage and vicious cycle. Still, we need to protect ourselves from them.

Don’t allow them to abuse you, nor allow yourself to spoil or tolerate them. Otherwise, you will bear the consequences of making a vampire in others.

If you love someone, you set him free and want him to be happy and successful… same goes for yourself (Leviticus 19:18, “love your neighbor as yourself.”)

Loving our vampire neighbors does not mean allowing them to stress us out. Instead, loving them means not spoiling and tolerating them and protecting ourselves from them by putting boundaries or limitations so we can love them properly sans the decaying stress between us.

Unless you’re free from the power of difficult people, you cannot understand and love them.

Remember, you have the power to break free and to protect yourself! You will not be tested beyond your capacity to solve your trials, including freeing yourself from your vampires.

We can protect ourselves from the vampires by preparing for their “Damned if you do; Damned if you don’t” game without the intention to hurt them.

So basic and simple like ABC 123. Here’s how…

Be aware. We need to deliberately and properly prepare for the difficult situations the vampires have had hurling at us time and again; so when it happens again, we already know what to do to protect ourselves and go about the situation to avoid further and unnecessary hurts.

Love ourselves. Loving oneself breeds respect for oneself. It makes us feel good about ourselves; thus loving ourselves naturally and automatically creates sturdy wall that protects us from exhausting vampires. Properly loving ourselves results in good health, good disposition, and doing good to others.

Living with a vampire is tantamount to allowing ourselves to be punished emotionally (sleepless nights and trauma), physically (sickness due to stress), spiritually (losing purpose, dreams, vision, and direction).

Damned if you do… damned if you don’t game.

Imagine this: You’re watching TV at home with your older brother. You’re enjoying the show. You’re laughing, you’re learning. Then suddenly you feel hungry. You get your favorite pasta and bread from the dining table, the last serving and the only food left by your mom for afternoon snack. When you return to the living room, your brother is surfing the channels and asks you to give him your food…  if you will give him the food he will eat them all as he scans the channels through the only remote; if you will not, he will throw hurting words at you, bully you, and will still get the food from you and will not let you hold the remote control as he is watches another show.

So what you do…

      1.    Retreat and find food elsewhere

Take one step backward so you can take two steps forward.

This may mean staying away and taking a break, pausing and catching some breath, and recuperating elsewhere for a while.

It may also mean not cutting relationship with the vampires. It may mean decreasing your time with the vampires. By doing this, you strike your chances of being drained or influenced by the vampire (Proverbs 22:24-25, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered  person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”)

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you or manipulating you, then walk out and find food elsewhere. If you have friends who are sucking your energy, joy, and peace, then spend lesser time with them.

      2.      Protect your head and eat your food

Bask in the sun, float on top of the wave.

This entails creating an emotional space between you and the difficult person.

If your vampire is your boss, spouse, or parents, you cannot just walk out immediately and create a physical space; hence you create an emotional space. As Eleanor Roosevelt puts it, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

We can create emotional space by imagining, especially when the truth is not obvious.

Imagine your difficult person as little Hercules.

Reduce the significance and impact of your vampire on you. Whatever he says or does becomes insignificant to you. You no longer focus on his sweet empty words or you can take his harsh words as unsharpened doubled-bladed sword. Now, you see your little Hercules vampire shout at you, but you cannot understand his little voice. You see him, but you’re no longer terrified.

Though this way, you focus on the only two important opinions, “First, what God thinks of you—full of potential, beautiful lamb, and a victor; second, your opinion of yourself—who you can be and want to be.”

Imagine an angel coming.

Through this way, you emphasize the element of “understanding.”

You see his brokenness not his badness.

By surrendering the difficult person to God, you let your angel come to take the vampire from your life to bring it to God’s repair room.

Imagine the truth.

Through this way, you give yourself time to “retrospect, honestly evaluate yourself, and listen to the hopes and dreams of the still voice inside you.”

The evil is in the business of deceiving you.

If one wants to become better in whatever aspect of his life, the evil will always try to pull him down, trap him, or to block the way just to keep him chained in his dark, unhappy underworld.

So, “Watch and pray so you will not fall into temptation (Mark 14:38), and  If God is for us, who can be against us? It is God who justifies (Romans 8:31-32).” 

If you want to get rid of your emotional vampires and achieve your dreams, you need someone who believes in you and in your dreams and who supports and cheers you on as you reach them.

There will always be people who will spice up your life with difficulty and challenges, whether they’re conscious of it or not. Moreover, there will always be people around you who will hold opinion about what you believe in or do, and they may even have predictions about your life… but hey, it’s okay!

 

You have a choice… to remain with the vampire or to break free.

You have two important stronghold… what God thinks of you and what you think of yourself.

The biggest blessing of protecting yourself from difficult people is gaining the freedom to genuinely see the seed of goodness that God planted in their hearts and their significant roles in refining and molding you to the wiser, more loving, and more joyful person that you are now…or simply the better you.

FLY! First Love Yourself.

 (Third and last installment, Unfinished Business: Transforming the Vampire will be posted soon)

Ready. Set. GROW!

Growth is vital for us to be able to enjoy to the fullest the various areas of our lives and utilize the gifts and blessings that God has provided us with so we become blessed and become His instruments to bless others.

You have to want to grow!

Growth is and must be intentional. It does not just happen in a split second or by saying it.

In order for one to grow, one must have the drive and purpose to grow. Growth for humans is much like growth for plants and animals. If we want to grow we have to “cathect” or invest time for our growth so we could enjoy what life has to offer; otherwise, we would just grow old wild and in survival fashion or timid and restrained.

Cathect in yourself. Sit down and talk to yourself---know what you want, you love, and you can do about them. Appreciate yourself and know the power inside you. Once you start the ball rolling, you would just be surprised one day how far you have gone and how much the ball has accumulated and how big it has become.

Be determined to grow. Start, no matter how small or big the step is. Just start, and consistently work out your improvement. Day by day by day by day.

Imagine lying on your deathbed and recapping the days you have lived. Would you want to see days that are empty or not spent with your loved ones or doing the things you wish you have done? Or would you want to see days that are filled with meaningful and joyful memories with your loved ones doing the things you love, visiting places together, fighting for the causes you believe in, having the means to help your loved ones and the underprivileged, eating your favorite food, and achieving your goals?

Growing old with time without developing in maturity is like walking aimlessly in the jungle. You don’t know the time and where you are. It is enough to just get by each day and handle anything that comes along. No drive. No plan. No goal. No direction. Just fate at work.

Anything-goes life could seem appealing. But let us not be selfish just thinking about ourselves surviving each day and taking pride on it. Let us also think about our loved ones who would be glad seeing us well and enjoying the gift of life with them. Think about your parents, your spouse, your children, and especially God who gave us all we need—which we just need to tap in order to utilize them.

Think about the life you wish to have!

Choose the area where you want to grow. Just one thing at a time, to surely get things right. Focus on it. Visualize it. Act upon it. Constantly make short-term plans and achieve them, and work them out on a daily basis.

Assess yourself. Put your evaluation in writing so you can keep track of your passion and effort and so you know where to press on each time trials try to dishearten you.

If the area you want to improve on months ago no longer thrills you nor develop into something bigger that tickles your imagination, it means you’re not doing much. If you feel that there’s something wrong or that your boat is sinking , it only says that you’re not done yet.

Use others’ lives as challenges and inspiration; but never compare yourself with them. Your competition is only yourself. Beat yourself daily!

Take heart! Pray. Stay in the boat and row slowly, but don’t stop. God has given us everything we need so we can overcome and grow.

Always remind yourself of your purpose why you decided or wanted to grow on the first day of the process. Your purpose is what keeps things together when they tend to fall apart.

In times of struggle, bow in God’s majesty and let God do things for you. Let God use you. Just trust in Him completely, do your best, and he will surely do the rest so you may bring glory and honor to His name.

Share your vision and have a mentor. Share your goal with the people who care most about you. They will help and guide you. They will be frank with you when you need a feedback or be proud of you when you deserve an appreciation.

Stay away from hushers. They will blur your vision and lose your focus.

Have the humility to accept that things will be easier when done with a helping hand, and acknowledge the fact that there are people who are better than us. Go to them, listen to them and learn from them.

When you have a person or set of persons who support you, there will always be people who will catch your back and cheer you on. You will have prayer warriors and willing ears to listen to your journey. Sometimes this people are so much into your improvement that you just have no other choice but to move forward and upwards.

Growth is vital for us to be able to enjoy to the fullest the various areas of our lives and utilize the gifts and blessings that God has provided us with so we become blessed and become His instruments to bless others.

Growth brings good physical health, emotional maturity, mental soundness, stable financial capacity, and more importantly sound and healthy spiritual life.

Why live in worries and deprivation when you can live in joy and overflow?

Discover and enjoy your blessings! Decide to GROW!

Shine! Be the light that inspires others.

Lent: Understand Backward to Move Forward

This Lent, let us remember that when God looks at us, He looks at us with our future and not with our past, which is comprised of our history and layers upon layers of sins. So don’t give up on your journey towards God’s promised land, for God is never giving up on you!

We must know our roots and the vestige of who we are to know who we can be. Look inside to see what lies ahead.

The season of Lent is a very good period to retrospect and understand life backwards. Although we can contemplate everyday, Lenten season is the time for Christians to channel and focus most of our thoughts to the greatest love demonstrated by Jesus and the importance of humility for our proper growth.

Jesus loves us more than we can ever imagine! Some of us may not realize it now, but it’s okay. Our Lord God is patiently waiting for us to come home; and as He waits, His loving hands are at work in our lives for our good.

Imagine being betrayed by a loved one or a very dear friend. How painful is it? Judas did that to Jesus, who treated His disciples as His own family (Matthew 26:14). How about voluntarily taking on the punishment for something you did not do? Would you do it, to the point of being whipped? Jesus did more than that! He took all the whipping, wore the crown of thorns, was mocked at, carried the cross, and courageously allowed Himself to be nailed on the cross.

Can you see yourself washing the feet of your friends? Of course you can! (You may even think, “I can even manicure or massage them!”). Well and good! Jesus, the Most High, the King of Kings, demonstrated His humility by washing the feet of His disciples and wiped them clean. This King doesn’t love being in the seats of honor, instead, He loves serving others.

Jesus our Lord did all these things that we may do the same to our brothers and sisters. As it is written in John 13:

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

Humility is the mother of all virtues. It is through humility that we learn and we grow. With humility, we become generous and grateful. Because of humility we diligently work and give credit to whomever credit is due. Humility fuels us to love selflessly and genuinely.

Humility brings us more friends and wealth after we learn to righteously deal with others and after we nurture a big heart. It makes the last first and the servant greatest.

Whatever our status in the society is, in the eyes of God, we are all His children and are all given the opportunity to live a well-lived life. It is just up to us how we will live life—to obey God or trust our own wisdom.

Starting this Lent, may we take the time to open our hearts and open our Bibles to listen to what God is telling us. It is through prayer that we talk to God and it is by reading the Bible that we listen to God.

By listening to God’s word, we are able to know what is the real right and the real thing. With God’s guidance, we are able to establish our standard and parameters on how we must uprightly and joyfully live our lives.

As we know God more and more, we will realize that God is not a limiting Father. We will learn that God is the God of fun and freedom. When one knows what he must do, he can freely decide and act upon His decisions.

This Lent, let us remember that when God looks at us, He looks at us with our future and not with our past, which is comprised of our history and layers upon layers of sins. So don’t give up on your journey towards God’s promised land, for God is never giving up on you!

If you think you’re now on a boat rocked by huge waves, remember that God will never let you sink. If you think life is throwing you dirt to burry you, shake it off, step up, shake it off, step up until you emerge to the surface victoriously. God meets us at our point of need, and God is never early nor late to rescue us. God gives us the freedom to utilize the blessings we receive from Him, and more importantly, God is always on time to meet and save us.

Let us allow God hold us, instead of us holding unto God, for God never lets go.

Starve your body and feed your soul! A seed must first die in order to grow and continue bear fruit. In the same way, if we want to grow and continuously improve in any area of our lives, we must intentionally deny ourselves and willingly take up our cross daily. Simply put, we must be humble enough to acknowledge our need for God and confidently face each challenge life throws at us knowing God is always holding us.

Know God and His commands. God prefers obedience than sacrifice; acknowledgement than offering.

Let us check our hearts and know how we must live our lives.

In whatever situation let us all remind ourselves, WWJD--"What would Jesus do?"

Enjoy your quality time with our Creator and Savior! Blessed and meaningful Lenten season!

~Ut In Omnibus Glorificetur Deus~ 

Single is More

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.




Whenever…

…we hear the word ‘single (oh, with her beauty and brains she’s still single?)
…we see the word ‘single’ (line for singles and line for married…shall I reveal that I’m still single given my age?)
…we utter the word ‘single’ (yes, I’m still single and ready to mingle!)

…we hear different reactions. Different people hold different opinions and feel of the word.

In our solitude moments, thinking that we are single incites various thoughts and feelings. Some may be happy, others may get frustrated. Many may feel fortunate, and still others may feel empty.

An English professor may even hold a different opinion—that ‘single’ always means one. Yes ONE! Singular. Alone. With no one. By oneself.

I’ve been to some situations of being single (Yes, different phases—committed single with boyfriend around and with boyfriend away; and uncommitted single). I also witnessed various types of being single, and I discovered that ‘single’ is, not one, and it’s does not just denote many, but ‘more’.

I had a long-time relationship. It was colorful. It felt good to have an all-time partner in doing things and also a long-distance inspiration when I had to study away from home.

However, when we broke up many things changed. I went through my own phasing of DABDA—denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Fortunately, because of God, things happened so quickly and I was able to see what happened as a blessing in disguise. With a grateful heart, I was able to turn the situation around and use my situation—single again—as a good opportunity and foundation on which I will willingly build on more good things.

With gratitude and hope for a better everyday, wonderful things surprisingly lined themselves up to me.

There are times that we must think of separation or the act of leaving (whoever seems to leave the other) as a very good opportunity for growth. Tell youself, “I’m glad he left me because it means I can spread my wings more and soar new heights of self-improvement with and for God.”

Being single once again means knowing myself more and enjoying myself in ways greater than I can imagine. While I’m single again, I can have more time for myself, my family, my community, and my friends. All this means more opportunities to serve God.

Being single means more time doing the things I want to do and exploring more things I’ve long been wanting to explore but never had the chance to… Maximizing all this fun learning curve before I get married, or simply before another year pass me by.

Single is fun… Single is ‘more’!

My mom is also a single mother. My father died when I was 10 years old, my younger brother was 6, and my youngest brother was only 3.

Being the strong independent woman that she is, my mother is able to happily raise her three musketeers well, or so I claim.

My other brother wins in international motocross competitions and my youngest brother wins in dance competitions, among the top students in his batch, an athlete, and an officer in their school. No to mention, the two boys are more obedient to mama than their ate.

I haven’t asked my mother yet how it is to raise up three children alone. But deep inside me, a little voice tells me, “It’s hard to be a single mother. Your mother is playing two roles, a mother and a father, at the same time. She gives more—time, effort, and resources—to provide your needs. Thus, you must also give her the sweetest love and the priceless gift of ‘the-best-person-that-you-can-be’ as her reward.”

Because she’s been a really great mother to us, come all four seasons, that other people start to appreciate and look up to my mom. My father’s side of the family loves mama more and more. Other people’s appreciation becomes her strong morale booster and her children’s love and appreciation her Olympic gold medal.

Being a single parent is empowering, fulfilling, and rewarding… Being a single parent means ‘more’!

My grandmother (my father’s auntie) opted to remain single despite some suitors. Perhaps she was blessed to be single.

She happily helped in raising up her nieces and nephews…and eventually, their kids. She hopped from one house of her sibling to the next and one town to another to take good care of her getting more and more ‘children’ and bigger and bigger ‘family’.

When my father was sick, she even traveled a rough 24-hour sail just to be with my father.

My lola Miling, who died just last year, found joy all her life in serving her relatives and making us feel special and loved. In return, she received more love from relatives and even from the relatives of her in-laws.

When she died, she not only gained love and respect, but left and engraved in our hearts the important lessons of her priceless gifts of humility, kindness, and love.

‘Single’ is a fountain of abundant blessings that cannot be bought by money and power… ‘Single’ is more!

No matter what we think of whenever the word ‘single’ pops into our minds… ‘single’ always has superimposed images of ‘more’ (time, opportunities, fun, love, and the list goes on) in our imaginations.

No matter what we feel when we realize that we are single… ‘Single’ always has a power to engrave a different feel of gratitude, joy, pride, and blessedness in our hearts.

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.

Single is not one, lonely idea… ‘Single’ is ‘more’ than good things, blissful feelings, and opportunities combined.

So next time you chance upon your English professor telling you that single is singular, you may answer in repartee that ‘single’ is more time, more love, and more giving and receiving. ‘More’ is never one and alone and is greater than ‘many’. Therefore, single is never alone and is greater than ‘many’.

Me. I am enjoying my life with my loved ones and friends as I prepare myself for the coming of my one true love who will one day be proud of me—that her woman has done a lot of good things for other and for God.

More so, that he can enjoy his life with his life partner and bestfriend—from plumbing and carpentry to cooking and doing the laundry; from playing chess and scrabble to playing tennis and diving; from helping ourfamilies to serving other people and God.