Happiness is Relative

Different generations, different definitions of happiness. Different people, different sources of happiness.

Many people equate happiness with success when in fact they are two different things and are both relative to each individual.

There are those who associate happiness and success with job title, status in the society, and salary. There are others who break free from the stereotype and find happiness in their discovered purpose or simply in what move their souls. Some measure their success based on how well they perform their chosen roles in life.

Happines--like life and love--is what you make it. 

It is you who discover or decide what makes you happy and feel alive. As you live your life, you will discover what pumps you up, moves you, gives meaning to your life, inspires you, makes you look forward each coming day.

Interestingly, as the saying puts it: different strokes for different folks. Simply put, happiness does not have an exclusive, hard-and-fast meaning or way of finding and achieving it.

What is even more interesting is that finding and sustaining happiness is an endless pursuit.

Usually, happiness changes or evolves with time, circumstances, place you're in, or people you're with. Your happiness may also be fixed already, and you just have to sustain it.

In discovering your own happiness, do not let other people define it for you. Find your own happiness or decide what, where, how, and even why your HAPPINESS is. If you have same sources of happiness with others, great. If not, it's totally fine.

Some of the keys to finding your own happiness are:

1. Discover your talents and interests;
2. Know which area/field you excel at;
3. Find out what relaxes you and gives you peace as you continue to grow as an individual;
4. Know your goals and priorities in life;
5. Enjoy what you're doing without thinking of competition;
6. Have time-off to enjoy yourself and recover;

7. Find out what your purpose or vocation is;
8. Consider your loved ones as you embark in your pursuit of happiness... but never let them be the only factor in deciding what makes you feel alive, grow, and do things;

In short, know yourself in a more intimate and meaningful level. More importantly, maintain balance in all aspects of your life. 

No matter what pace, level of ease, place, etc you discover that make you feel alive or that work best for you, press on them.

In this day and age, more often than not, "meaningfulness" and "purpose" give us long-term and genuine happiness, and "gratitude" sustains the [source of] happiness that we discover.

Empowerment and inclusivity have become the "in" thing, and competition and individuality have become passé.

What works best for you in attaining your happiness may not work for others, and that's totally okay.

There is no fixed standard, no time or age limit, no certain place, no season in finding happiness. It is you who discover, feel, and work on your own happiness. Others don't find, serve, and sustain it for you.

Happiness is discovered by going out there, knowing yourself better, and living your best life. But remember, sustaining happiness is an inside job.

So go define and find your own happiness, and share it with the people around you.

If you have already found yours, I'm glad you did. If not yet I hope you find your happiness in what you do, in places you visit, in people you are with, and in every single day you get to live.

When one is happy, she/he shines.
Go spread your light.

Roar ain't Enough to Make a Good Bleat

The sun is peeping between the chains of mountains. The golden orange cotton cloud is gradually eating the light blue expanse. Life is starting to fill the surroundings—chickens clucking, birds chirping, goats bleating.

Unique, the outcast tiger cub, cheerfully jumps off his flattened thick grass bed and greets the baby goats good morning.

The kids, with their unkempt clumpy fur, look at each other and laugh at Unique in chorus.

Unique was found by mother goat alone, wounded, and helpless in the prairie, so she decided to bring him home and to raise him well like her own.

It's been months already since unique lived, played, and worked with them but the goat's ways just fail to be imprinted upon him.

He cannot bleat like how the goats bleat. He doesn't like the taste of the meals of the goats, but he just keeps it to himself. His coat and body structure is different from the goat kids he plays with.

The kids always make fun of Unique because he is different—big and guttural voice, stripy fur, thick but few whiskers, big paws, sharp claws, stocky body. So Unique thinks that he is ugly; he is unacceptable; he is weak; he is cursed. Unique becomes the laughing stock in the prairie.

Unique starts to develop self-pity and inferiority complex, and other self-images that breed negative attitudes. The once cheerful and friendly unique now becomes aloof and insecure.

One day when the goats and Unique go up the mountain to play. Each brings a bag full of leaves and grass since the season is dry.

The goats laugh at the way Unique walks and the way his tail moves. Unique cannot talk back since they will just keep on laughing, this time at the way he bleats. So Unique contains the anger in his throat. When the goats start to get tired from playing on their way up, they start eating their food. Unique, on the other hand, is still full of energy and his food still untouched, partly because he doesn’t like it.

When they are halfway through up, the goats' bags are already almost empty. They ask Unique for some food as his bag is still full. Unique refuses to share his every time they ask him for some food.

Unique's back is starting to ache while the goats are starting to feel hungry and weak, yet the goats keep playing and laughing on their way up as they keep on making fun of Unique's manners of walking and bleating and his seemingly unflagging strength. The heavy throb in his chest makes him want to tear them apart; but the voice of his mother goat talking in his mind stops him so.

Seeing a river, they all stop for a drink. Unique sees his reflection on the glaring, clear, slow running water. He realizes not only are his voice and coat different from theirs but also his face and size. Unique feels even uglier and more insecure after seeing his reflection. He feels so inferior and unblessed.

To make himself feel better, he seals his bag so tightly so the leaves and grass will not fall from it as they climb and so the goats will feel the pain he feels even just by means of hunger. Unique feels bad about what he is doing to his brothers and friends; but his anger and insecurity shoot up that he'd rather see them hungry than share food with them.

Some of the goats faint as they move up the hardly trailed ridge; others stop at some point to find food; until only Unique remains walking up with aching back and all alone.

Unique reaches the pinnacle, and no-one else.

Unique looks around. He stares at the vastness of the field below. He realizes how big the world is and how ugly and weak and different and lonely he is.

In his sadness, Unique sobs. Until he cries so hard that his voice trembles til it cracks a roar. Unique is surprised of what he hears. He gets scared of the voice coming from within. Another roar comes out of his throat. He chuckles in curiosity and fear. He thinks the monster inside him is coming out due to his uncontained anger. He just cannot control it, he keeps on roaring as he cries in pity and fear.

To his surprise, a bleat fades in with the gush of the wind from behind. It is mother goat trying to comfort him and thank him. All the while, mother goat was following them as they played and climbed unaware.

"Don't be sad because you're different," quips mother goat. "Unique, you are special. You will never be like any of us no matter how hard you try because you were born bigger, stronger, and faster. Thank you for doing your best to be one of us."

Unique’s sadness now melts to confusion as to why his mother goat is saying he is special and is thanking him. Before he talks in disbelief and further skepticism, mother goat tells him the truth—how she found him and who he really is.

"I love you that's why I brought you home and cared for you. I saw your goodness and potentials that's why I trusted you in a lot of things, including how gently and carefully you treat your brother goats, who belittle you and laugh at your differences," says mother goat.

"You are meant to do other things than what we are doing. Your brothers are surely better than you in doing our thing. Your roar will never be good enough a bleat. All this is because you are born for another thing. Listen to the beat of your heart, it is telling you who you are," added mother goat in assurance.

Unique brushes his face on the face of his mother goat. He is moved by the sincerity of his mother goat's words and the love she has shown him since the day he can remember.

Now Unique forgives his brother goats and friends, and most importantly, he forgives himself. He now embraces who he is and starts to unlearn his unfounded self-image as he begins to build a new self-image established on acceptance(of who he is), gratitude(for what he has), and forgiveness(for what his self-pity and insecurity made him to be).

"Go out in the open field, my son. Discover your voice, your strength, your beauty, and your role and place in the field," mother goat encourages Unique.

In gratitude and respect, Unique thanks mother goat and kisses her goodbye.

Unique checks, once more, his reflection on  the river. He practices his unsteady roar and runs and leaps as he reaches the vast open field. Unique feels the lightness and joy of being his own self. He now appreciates his strength, his size, and the purpose of the stripes of his coat.

Still in awe of his abilities and potentials, he realizes that the reason why his back ached as they climbed the mountain is not because he was lacking energy but because he never unloaded his "baggage" due to trumped up self-pity, insecurity, anger, and selfishness.

Now, as Unique accepts his whole being—both what he can and cannot do—he also gains self-respect.

xxx

Friends, go out, experience the world, and push yourself to the limit... Perhaps the reason why you feel awkward or your voice cannot be understood or others see you differently or you don't fit in is simply because you are different... Be bold. Your "bleat" will never be good enough if you are meant to "roar." Discover what you are made of, treat yourself as how you are to the eyes of your Creator, and grow where you should be. Seize the day as how He sees you!"

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I am so happy I am here again! I have been very busy, happily busy, for the past few months that I was not able to write an article... I have a list of entries to write, though. I just need to buy time to sit and type. For now, enjoy the fable :-)