the only Surrender that reaps Victory

In my few months of inactivity in the blogosphere, I experienced and discovered a lot of things (most of them great and wonderful things!) that I wish I could share them all with you in just one seating.

I am an optimistic and grateful person by nature; however, my imaginative and analytic mind occasionally weighs down my high and pumped up spirit—as my imagination causes me interruption and my analysis a paralysis. I dream and aim high, but my time bucket was leaking minute by minute.

So, I resolved to pursue my goals effectively (doing right things) and efficiently (doing things right) to achieve excellent (doing right things right) results.

With this, I immediately started to figure out where I would start and how I would sustain my progress until I achieve my goals and continue to achieving more, for His glory.

From my experiences, observation, and lessons from friends’ stories...
 ‘good preparation’ proves itself to be indispensable;
 ‘punctuality’ associates itself to victory;
 ‘constant practice’ establishes credibility even without the help of words
 ‘taming of tongue’ molds one to be wise;
 ‘gratitude and joy’ invisibly floats one up to success;
 ‘upright character’ sustains one on top;
 ‘positive thoughts and words’ amazingly change lives (yours and others);
…and most importantly,
 ‘unwavering complete faith’ in Him keeps one on the right track.

I saw how the combination of these eight works in the lives of my friends and other successful people. In God’s grace, I myself am now enjoying the harvest of my used-to-be little seed of determination to succeed… which later on turned into my fruitful tree of desire to glorify Him in whatever I do.

When He comes to your life, you will never be the same again. When you taste the rewards of His promises, you will constantly desire to glorify Him. The sweetest surrender of life, ever—completely putting your life in His hands.

Brand New Day; Grand New Way

“Everyday is an opportunity to either: sustain your image of life and add colors to it or dishevel the pieces to rearrange them to make a totally refreshed and better image of life. The power to make your day great is within you!”



Just like every individual, every day is unique from others. The day’s property of uniqueness poses many opportunities for us to make our lives better, easier, and brighter despite all of life’s ‘natural calamities’ (situations thrown at us by others) and ‘man-made disasters’ (result of our personal decisions and standards) that try to wipe out our optimism, confidence, hopes, and wonderful feelings.

No matter how gloomy yesterday was—you failed to beat a deadline, ate too much, spent the day idly, impulsively spent beyond the budget, said a discouraging word—it doesn’t matter today. All that the new day is concerned of is how you utilize it ‘now’ to make it brighter, better, and more beautiful than yesterday.

Today is a gift from God.

It is a daily-basis opportunity that He gives us for us to correct our mistakes and do better every single day until we finally appreciate the fruits of our discipline and until they naturally become our source of motivation and digested by our muscle memory.

A steady motivation doesn’t come from a defeat or a challenge, but from a daily resolute decision to live better and beat your personal record day by day: your calorie intake, times you lie, number of people you help, amount you save, times you snooze the alarm clock.

The power to make your day great is within you! The decision to may your ways grand lies to no one, but you.

The unending ‘today’ and your boundless imagination on how to pump yourself up (and hopefully, would stir others) are just two of the many manifestations of how God wants you to become a victor and how limitless God’s love for us is.

Float on Tears or Fly with Grace

Do you still often find yourself subconsciously picking up all the pieces of shattered memories and pulling through all the yarns that could link you back with him?

Whatever caused our cherished relationships to break, many of us, women, remain locked up in the past that we want to blow life to all the images that flash in our heads and turn them into reality. Since women usually have a relatively longer bargaining phase than men, many of us succumb to our emotions and let go of our pride just to rekindle the old flame. However, due to some not-so-good experiences, there are also others who desire to get their men back in their lives because they want to turn the tables around.

Whatever our motives are in winning our men back, we can always resolve to live our lives in ways that will both favor our victory in deliberately getting our men back and our success in purposely improving ourselves—that may unintentionally lead him back to us.

1. We can have a solid kick off by having a clear and resolute decision of loving ourselves first before anybody else.

Men in our generation are aware that only when one is capable of loving herself enough, that she is able to love others properly. In our fast-paced and competitive environment today, most men prefer women who value and respect themselves for this means security and assurance, whether men are around or not.

A woman who values and respects oneself will not allow herself to fall into wrongdoings that might affect each of them, and eventually the relationship. She will commit herself to continuous growth—discovering what she can do and how she can do it best—so her man will always have something to be proud of her and so she has a good self-image of herself, preventing her to feel insecure and jealous.

A woman who loves herself is naturally caring, understanding, sympathetic, and supportive because she herself knows what love is and how it is to be loved.

2. We must learn the skill on how to properly and decently send our men signals that we are totally over and have already accepted the breakup—although the reality is otherwise.

Making a man believe that you have already moved on usually hits his ego and stirs him to think whether he is your loss or you are his loss. Showing no desperation in winning him back conversely makes him desperate to come back to you to prove his worth and chase the self-sufficient woman that he has just left.

Men over 25 years old usually don’t find women who are clingy, possessive, and obsessed cute and lovable. The older the men gets, all the more they appreciate women who can be their partners rather than their pets.

3. It is also important that we always look our best—internally and externally. Maintaining inner and outer beauty will in no way drive away your man.

Take advantage of how well you have known him in your years together. Put on a dress that has the color and style he likes; arrange your hair the way that he finds sexy; and use the perfume you were using so his feeling will be swept back to the times when you were still together.

Having a girlfriend with a good heart and a prudent mind is nothing but an ideal significant other for most men. External beauty fades through the years, but internal beauty becomes more valuable as years go by—serving as the couple’s armor against life’s series of storms and relationship trials.

Any ex-boyfriend couldn’t help but snivel on the sight of a beautiful woman with a golden heart being admired and respected by other men.

4. Maintaining warm relationships with our men’s friends and family members is also another good move that requires discreet moves.

Being nice and warm with his crowd is like having a free of charge award-winning advertisement on how good you are as a friend and a family member. Nonetheless, sincerity must be the main theme of your personal ad. Friends are like sharks sharp in smelling deceptions and role plays, but they can also be your genie helping you get what you wish for.

Being warm and nice with his clique will show how diplomatic you are in dealing issues. Also, this can signal to him that you are a good partner to be with in both good and not-so-good times.

5. Lastly, let’s just always be ourselves.

Being the woman that you really are will help ignite his feelings once more. Who you truly are was the reason why he became attracted to you. Maybe it’s the perfect time to look at yourself and retrospect. Have you changed a lot? Are the changes because of improvement? Or you have already matured that’s why there are changes.

While doing all these, you are also helping yourself become the esteemed woman you need to be whether he comes back to your or not. If he comes back, it means you are really wired and meant for each other. If he doesn’t, then rejoice because you have already started spreading your wings and now more prepared to take off and soar the vast heavens of possibilities and opportunities.

When Best is Not Enough

Through all the seasons and faces of life
We’ve journeyed together
Enduring the tide, enjoying the ride
You were here beside me,
Inasmuch as I was to you
You have been my best buddy
I’ve been the best I could to you

“My best yesterday has never established itself to be the best
Because it’s always beaten by what I do today”
I couldn’t settle, I wasn’t contented
Especially if what I do was for you
Don’t worry, though
I relish the tide, I treasure the ride

We walk side-by-side
Our arms kissing each other
Our hands hugging one another
Everyday I assured you
We would be happy, we would be okay
I accepted you, I protected you
I cherished you most
I loved you with all my best

I wanted to improve
I told myself to be the best in everything I do
Especially if it was for you
You made me cry—I smiled my best
I stumbled in pain—I uttered my wisest
We had been away—I initiated faithfulness

I aimed for my best
Coz best was all about you—
It set you special, made you loved
It ignited you, cheered you up
It inspired you, pumped you up

Now the sundown has come
It’s time for you to go
I smile, I breathe, I retrospect
Smile again, and pray
This time I don’t know—
How my best will keep up
And make you cheer up
When I myself don’t know
How to turn the table and go

Until this last bit
I offer my best to you
My tears are for pain
That I have to let you go
My tears are for joy
For this means I am letting you soar—
Achieve your freedom,
Pull off the heavens,
Where my prince,
Who’s you, belongs to

I gave you what seemed to you my never-ending best
But for me, this best had never been enough
Now, perhaps, this is the ultimate test
If I truly love you
I have to surrender you
To the care of the One who loves you most

More than I can ever love you—
All my strength and good intentions combined
Only the Best and the Most,
Our Lord, the Creator
Of my most treasured gift
Can truly protect, save, and fill you

To you my love,
I express best my gratitude
By praying for you
And wishing you well
Now, I bid my best goodbye
I send my joy with you
As I see you go and fly

Single is More

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.




Whenever…

…we hear the word ‘single (oh, with her beauty and brains she’s still single?)
…we see the word ‘single’ (line for singles and line for married…shall I reveal that I’m still single given my age?)
…we utter the word ‘single’ (yes, I’m still single and ready to mingle!)

…we hear different reactions. Different people hold different opinions and feel of the word.

In our solitude moments, thinking that we are single incites various thoughts and feelings. Some may be happy, others may get frustrated. Many may feel fortunate, and still others may feel empty.

An English professor may even hold a different opinion—that ‘single’ always means one. Yes ONE! Singular. Alone. With no one. By oneself.

I’ve been to some situations of being single (Yes, different phases—committed single with boyfriend around and with boyfriend away; and uncommitted single). I also witnessed various types of being single, and I discovered that ‘single’ is, not one, and it’s does not just denote many, but ‘more’.

I had a long-time relationship. It was colorful. It felt good to have an all-time partner in doing things and also a long-distance inspiration when I had to study away from home.

However, when we broke up many things changed. I went through my own phasing of DABDA—denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Fortunately, because of God, things happened so quickly and I was able to see what happened as a blessing in disguise. With a grateful heart, I was able to turn the situation around and use my situation—single again—as a good opportunity and foundation on which I will willingly build on more good things.

With gratitude and hope for a better everyday, wonderful things surprisingly lined themselves up to me.

There are times that we must think of separation or the act of leaving (whoever seems to leave the other) as a very good opportunity for growth. Tell youself, “I’m glad he left me because it means I can spread my wings more and soar new heights of self-improvement with and for God.”

Being single once again means knowing myself more and enjoying myself in ways greater than I can imagine. While I’m single again, I can have more time for myself, my family, my community, and my friends. All this means more opportunities to serve God.

Being single means more time doing the things I want to do and exploring more things I’ve long been wanting to explore but never had the chance to… Maximizing all this fun learning curve before I get married, or simply before another year pass me by.

Single is fun… Single is ‘more’!

My mom is also a single mother. My father died when I was 10 years old, my younger brother was 6, and my youngest brother was only 3.

Being the strong independent woman that she is, my mother is able to happily raise her three musketeers well, or so I claim.

My other brother wins in international motocross competitions and my youngest brother wins in dance competitions, among the top students in his batch, an athlete, and an officer in their school. No to mention, the two boys are more obedient to mama than their ate.

I haven’t asked my mother yet how it is to raise up three children alone. But deep inside me, a little voice tells me, “It’s hard to be a single mother. Your mother is playing two roles, a mother and a father, at the same time. She gives more—time, effort, and resources—to provide your needs. Thus, you must also give her the sweetest love and the priceless gift of ‘the-best-person-that-you-can-be’ as her reward.”

Because she’s been a really great mother to us, come all four seasons, that other people start to appreciate and look up to my mom. My father’s side of the family loves mama more and more. Other people’s appreciation becomes her strong morale booster and her children’s love and appreciation her Olympic gold medal.

Being a single parent is empowering, fulfilling, and rewarding… Being a single parent means ‘more’!

My grandmother (my father’s auntie) opted to remain single despite some suitors. Perhaps she was blessed to be single.

She happily helped in raising up her nieces and nephews…and eventually, their kids. She hopped from one house of her sibling to the next and one town to another to take good care of her getting more and more ‘children’ and bigger and bigger ‘family’.

When my father was sick, she even traveled a rough 24-hour sail just to be with my father.

My lola Miling, who died just last year, found joy all her life in serving her relatives and making us feel special and loved. In return, she received more love from relatives and even from the relatives of her in-laws.

When she died, she not only gained love and respect, but left and engraved in our hearts the important lessons of her priceless gifts of humility, kindness, and love.

‘Single’ is a fountain of abundant blessings that cannot be bought by money and power… ‘Single’ is more!

No matter what we think of whenever the word ‘single’ pops into our minds… ‘single’ always has superimposed images of ‘more’ (time, opportunities, fun, love, and the list goes on) in our imaginations.

No matter what we feel when we realize that we are single… ‘Single’ always has a power to engrave a different feel of gratitude, joy, pride, and blessedness in our hearts.

‘Single’ isn’t just a faint no-brainer word uttered by everybody… ‘Single’ is a powerful ‘feeling’ (of contentment). It ain’t just a label thrown at us by friends… ‘Single’ is a dignified ‘title’ (of blessedness) earned through genuine wisdom and patience, and sometimes through the Holy Spirit.

It just takes a good pair of grateful eyes; optimistic mind; cheerful heart; and a tireless pair of generous hands to optimize singleness to the fullest.

Single is not one, lonely idea… ‘Single’ is ‘more’ than good things, blissful feelings, and opportunities combined.

So next time you chance upon your English professor telling you that single is singular, you may answer in repartee that ‘single’ is more time, more love, and more giving and receiving. ‘More’ is never one and alone and is greater than ‘many’. Therefore, single is never alone and is greater than ‘many’.

Me. I am enjoying my life with my loved ones and friends as I prepare myself for the coming of my one true love who will one day be proud of me—that her woman has done a lot of good things for other and for God.

More so, that he can enjoy his life with his life partner and bestfriend—from plumbing and carpentry to cooking and doing the laundry; from playing chess and scrabble to playing tennis and diving; from helping ourfamilies to serving other people and God.