As human beings, we are capable of being hurt and of hurting others—deliberately or not. Our emotions prod our imaginations to create various things in our minds that almost burst our thought bubbles. Sometimes our emotions stir us to plan things that we don’t normally think of.
In times like this, it is most appropriate to pause, breathe deeply, and close our eyes for a moment… not thinking of anything. Then poof! Jump back to reality, and tell ourselves, “I’m not okay, but I know I can bear all this. I am bigger than the situation and I have a God of abundance. Wonderful things are on their way to me now.”
I have been hurt a lot of times. By people I value. By strangers. By circumstances. By objects. And even by myself. There are millions of reasons why we get hurt—sometimes because hurt is inflicted upon us and at times because our own pride creates it for us.
The good news is, whatever the reason why we get hurt is, we can always go to family and friends and solicit words of encouragement; and we can always spin around the situation 360° by turning to God and listening to his word. Only the word of God can provide us real confidence and security as we journey through life everyday.
Family and friends are heaven sent to accompany us and walk with us, while God is our light and our safe destination.
Just recently, I have been hurt by the person I valued most in ways and degree unthinkable. I struggled to stand up again after I fell down. I staggered. I faltered. But only when I decided to bring everything to Him and let His hands hold me tightly as I walked down Trial Avenue did I found courage, freedom, and real happiness in the middle of difficulty. I managed to have a cheerful heart and a pair of grateful eyes knowing that everything will be fine and something great is being cooked for me, I just have to wait.
Between the beginning and the end (when I already fully understood ‘it’s over when it’s over’), I’ve been playing tug-of-war with anger, bitterness, and indifference—which I believed was the best gameplan, but was just so hard to execute.
I left our longstanding paradise which straight away turned into haunted house for me. I walked away declaring to myself I was no longer mad. I bid goodbye and said, ‘I’m not mad and I wish you well.’ Nonetheless, I could still feel in the deepest fiber of my humanity the pushing-and-pulling of the tiny pinch of deep-seated resentment and of love, which I homed for more than a decade at the core of the layers and layers of the protective shell of my heart.
Finally, after two months of restless night and days and glorious days of constantly finding refuge and comfort from Him, I told myself ‘I could decide better than make myself be soaked in the toxins of anger and bitterness’ and ‘I can do better than being indifferent.’
Believing that now is the perfect time for things to fall into their places, I mustered all of my courage and held my emotions together as I decided to face the person and the situation head on—sheathed with faith in God and driven by a forgiving heart.
We talked heart-to-heart. Courteously took turns to talk. Listened intently. Admitted our pains. Declared our forgiveness.
I begged that we not just dwell on the things that have hurt me and I admitted that I’m still wounded. I re-assured the person by finally acknowledging my ace... that I never blamed the person—he hurt me but I immediately saw God’s hand in the situation. I kept it from the person thinking that the he may just feel good about what he did and move forward without even a tiny bit of remorse.
At last, I’ve broken the shell of my deep-seated pains… I totally let go of everything I kept about us—both love and hurt. I’ve had loved him in the face of sweet joy and in the face of hurt. I accepted him and forgave him time and again. I’ve loved him in his worst and in his best.
Now I’m letting God to be totally in control of the situation, believing my place of desperation is just His way of making me stronger, wiser, and more prepared to receiving His truly wonderful blessings.
Subsequent to our talk, I felt relieved and happier... It's a wonderful feeling if you don't hold on (too long) to your negative feelings and thoughts just because you were hurt--deliberately or not. It takes courage and willingness to face it, and even discuss it with the person who offended you. But in the end, you just don't help and free the person, but also yourself.
Now I can say, our emotions and circumstances are just God’s tools in awakening and strengthening our faith in Him—the key to releasing His power and abundance over our lives.
After more than a decade of believing God has blessed me with a great gift, which is him and the life we shared, now I see and understood more clearly that those 10 years and eight months of good life is just His preparation for our sweet surrender to God and far better life.
God uses our emotions to hone us into our better versions… we just need to keep moving forward and stay focused on our destination, which is God’s sweet blessings and embrace.
Now I remind myself, ‘Don't toss away your sight from the shattered pieces of glass that pierced your feet... Pack the fragments in the small chamber of your memory to serve as your roadbook and sweet wound memento as you take your journey to the paradise, and never let them annoy and hurt others you will be with like how it hurt you.’
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